Page 71 of Because You Loved Me

Something had shifted between them. It couldn’t be ignored. Even if that’s exactly what she wanted to do.

“What were you doing outside so early?” Noa asked his back as Asher poured himself his own cup of coffee.

“I needed to think.”

She exhaled deeply before blowing out the breath slowly. “And?” She hated herself for even asking, but she’d never been the type of woman to shy away from a difficult conversation—with one notable exception.

“And I meant what I said last night, Noa.” He squared off across from her, in a move that felt so confrontational that a trickle of ice spirited down her spine.

It was a good thing she was leaning up against the counter; she needed the support. “Which part?”

“We both know what’s going to happen here, Noa.”

He glanced out the window before fixing her with a gaze so full of indifference that it caused her physical pain to look at him.

“No.” She put the cup on the counter and crossed her arms over her chest. “We absolutely do not know what’s going to happen, Asher.” He tilted his head and raised his eyebrows, and she couldn’t keep looking at him. Her gaze fell to the floor for a moment. “I don’t know why you think you know me well enough to know how I’m going to live my life, Asher.”

“I know your type.”

“My type?” She once more looked up. This time she narrowed her eyes and glared at him. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

He took a sip of coffee and dragged out the moment. “Look, Noa. This was?—”

“No.” She stopped him. “You don’t get to say something like that and then not follow through.” She stepped toward him, closing the distance that suddenly felt cavernous. “What does that mean? Mytype?”

He sighed, as if speaking to her was a huge effort. “You have your whole life laid out for you. A family who loves you. A good man waiting for you. And don’t forget, I met him, Noa,” he added. “I saw firsthand exactly how he feels about you and what you left behind.”

She shook. “You don’t even know what you saw.”

“Not true.” He pressed his lips together smugly, and she wanted to scream. “I saw a man who knows you a whole hell of a lot better than I do, and he told me quite confidently that the two of you are going to?—”

“I don’t care what he said!” She didn’t mean to raise her voice, but she couldn’t help it as the frustration and bottled-up emotion poured out. “He doesn’t speak for me, Asher. He never has. Yes, he’s my best friend. But the things we talked about…the thingsyouknow about me.” She sucked in a breath and looked down for a second. “Asher…he doesn’t know…he doesn’t know how Ifeel.”

Asher opened his mouth and closed it again with her choice of words. She hadn’t imagined it the night before. Hehadheard her.

The silence between them stretched out endlessly until, finally, he asked, “And? How do you feel, Noa?”

It was the question she’d dreaded. Not because she didn’t want to tell him exactly how she was feeling, how she’d never before had such a connection with a man before and the idea of walking away and never seeing him again filled her with a pain in her chest that threatened to consume her—but because she didn’t know how to put those feelings into words.

And what if she did open up and did her best to explain the unexplainable and he still looked just as closed off as he did in that moment? What if she bared her soul to him, and in return she got nothing?

Maybe it was better to walk away with what was left of her pride and leave this time in the cabin as a special memory, which was all it was ever meant to be.

That’s what she needed to remember.

She didn’t want this. She didn’t want him. She never had. And just because Asher happened to appear at a moment in her life when she needed a little distraction didn’t mean any of that had fundamentally changed.

“I feel like…” She inhaled deeply and took her time blowing out the breath. “Maybe I should go.”

* * *

He knew it was coming. How could it not? After all, he’d been pushing her and driving them to that very moment ever since they left the lodge the day before.

Still.

Her words hit him in the gut as if he’d been punched.

Go. Go? She couldn’t go.

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