So why is it that I can't stop feeling like something is going to happen? Like something horrible is going to tear the very ground out from under me.
I guess it has to do with the fact that no matter how good I try to be or how much I try to keep myself from falling into the wrong way of life, it never ends up the right way.
I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep breath. All this anxiety isn't doing me any good. All that matters is right now, Tyler is safe and so am I.
I'll deal with whatever I have to do to make sure it stays like this. That means, even getting help from a biker I'm sure isn't the best option for an electrician.
Right now, he's all I have, the only one I know that won't ask any questions.
Light may be obnoxious and annoying, but at least he seems harmless.
I'll just have to take that as a win for today.
With another sigh, I turn the fire down on the chili and let it continue to simmer while I go back over to where Tyler is sitting and join him on the couch.
He smiles once at me before he turns back to the show and continues to watch the screen.
It's so quiet. And the sky is getting darker and darker outside.
I know I'm going to have to get Tyler ready for his nighttime routine soon.
But right now, we can just enjoy the peace.
I let my head fall against the back cushion and just let the serene vibe wash over me.
That is, until the smell of cigarette smoke began to drift in through a cracked window.
I turn to check the chili, but it's still safely simmering low on the flame.
I look at the medical equipment and see there are no alarms going off to indicate that it’s overheating.
That means the smoke must be coming from outside.
Someone is standing outside my house smoking.
Someone who was sent here to watch me.
Two
Light
I triedthe whole gentleman thing once.
Held the door, took the fall, kept her secrets.
And for what?
A three-year bid and a woman who never wrote back.
I know I should go back to the clubhouse. Go back to my family and just be at peace, but I can't. I don't want to see all the love and joy that comes with having new ol' ladies in the house.
Don't get me wrong. I'm happy for both Brick and Hook that they found someone who seems like they're going to be around forever—women they can share all the troubles of their lives with. But I've had that before, and I know the truth of the matter.
Shit is only good until the bad times roll in, and then all that happiness goes flying out of the window.
No. I'd rather stay realistic about my love life.
Women are only good for one thing, and that's to get a quick nut.