Page 52 of Light

Not her coming to me in the middle of the night. Not the fact that she has become the first woman I ever fucked without a rubber. Not the instant addiction I'm already feeling take root in my soul. I promised myself that I wouldn't do this, not again. But I can't keep on denying this.

Tonight I fucked her like it meant something. Fucked her like I was in love.

That thought scares me more than anything ever could.

Thirteen

Melissa

If I thought fuckingLight would fix all my problems, boy, was I wrong.

My bodies internal clock jerks me out of a sound sleep. I've spent years waking up to take care of Tyler that no matter how hard I try, I can't sleep in. It's got to be at least seven in the morning already. I can't tell. There's no clock in the room.

Slowly, I turn my head to the side and see Light on his front. His beautiful face free of any tension, smashed into the pillow. The sight alone makes me want to giggle, but I don't have time. I have to get out of here and to the hospital. The doctors told me that they would keep Tyler on the machines for a few days, but I still want to be there.

Last night, when I walked over here, I didn't know what I was expecting. I guess I've just become so dependent on Light for some form of stability, not having him at my house sent me spiraling in the deep end.

I didn't come here for sex. I just needed him.

Of course, now that we've been together, I realize just how much of a mistake I've made.

The sex was good. Fucking awesome, actually, but it's done nothing but solidify all those feelings I swore were just a little crush. I want more from this man. More than he's willing to give me and more than I can afford to want right now.

No, it's best if we act like this never happened. Just pretend like it was all one big dream.

Slowly, I try to pull myself out of the bed without waking him up. Before I can even get my foot on the ground, Light's hand juts out, and he grabs my wrist. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I've got to go to the hospital. Be with Tyler."

Light stretches and sits up in the bed. "Yeah, you're right." Finally, he pins me with his gaze. It's hot and already has my body gearing up for another round under the sheets. "About last night, I want you to know I'm clean. I've never had sex without a condom before. I didn't want you to worry about that."

Shit.

Double shit!

I try not to let what he's saying register on my face. It didn't even dawn on me that we forgot to use protection. I was so lost in the moment. "Don't worry about it. It's all good." I say doing my best to downplay it. "We both had a good time."

"A good time?" Light's eyes squint as if he's trying to figure me out.

"Yeah, I guess we needed it. I'm fine if things go back to normal now. I won't make it weird." I say and give a little laugh before I stand and quickly get my clothes on.

"Yeah... back to normal." Light parrots back, but there's an edge to his voice. I'm not sure if it's because he's relieved or pissed off. I don't want to get into it right now. I've got other responsibilities.

Quickly, we both get dressed, but as I reach for the door, he stops me. "I'll drive you home."

I open my mouth to object, but I can tell by the look on his face that he's not going to take no for an answer. "Thanks. I need to get a few things before I go see Tyler."

"You want me to come with you?"

"No, it's fine. I'll just be sitting around all day. You've got other things to do." I smile and shrug.

"Right... other things." Light shakes his head and looks away from me before opening the door so we can both walk out.

The energy between us is different now. I can only hope some time apart is all we need to get back on solid ground. Light quickly rides us on his bike to the house and watches as I walk in the house. I stand with my back against the door until I hear the bike drive away. I let out a breath and nearly crumble to the floor.

I sure know how to fuck things up.

Unfortunately, I don't have time to think about my lapse in judgment. I need to get myself together so I can go check on Tyler. He's all that matters right now.

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