Page 61 of Light

This is it.

This is what Deke's been after.

All this time, he's been tearing my life apart looking for something I didn't even know existed.

And now I'm holding it in my hands.

I look over the paper, once, then twice, but no matter how many times I re-read the same information, I'm still not sure what it is. It's some sort of business. The scared woman inside of me wants to get ahold of Deke and give him this so he can get the hell out of my life but the smartass in me wants to know what's so special about this. So important that my late husband went through all this trouble to hide it.

There's no way I'm going to be able to figure this out on my own. I need help.

There's only one man I know who may be able to and I already told him he had no reason to be in my business.

I don't want Light involved...but I want him in my life. I'm not sure what's worse. His desire to keep me safe or the fact that I'm about to let him.

Sixteen

Light

What the hellam I doing?

I don't want this.

Fuck, I don't want this.

"You know, I was starting to think I was never going to hear from you again." Kayla giggles as she runs a hand over the dresser I have tucked in the far corner of the room in the back of my shop.

Every part of me knows this is wrong, but, fuck it. This is my way. How I get over things.

I was ready to go all in with Melissa, but she made it more than clear that I didn't mean anything to her. If she doesn't want me, I'll let someone else lick my wounds of rejection. Kayla is a wonderful choice.

At least, I think her name is Kayla. I didn't really bother to get much information when I sent her a text message telling her to come over.

I met Kayla back at one of the rallies. We never fucked, but she was more than happy to suck me off behind a port-a-potty. She knows who I am and what I want. No strings. One night.

At least that is who I was before Melissa.

I take another swig of beer, trying to drown the guilt I feel clawing at my chest. I have no reason to feel like an asshole right now, but I do.

Melissa was right, though. She isn't my responsibility. I tried to help her and Tyler, but all I managed to do was fuck shit up worse. I need to extract myself from the problem. Melissa is a big girl I'm sure she can take care of herself.

"Yeah, I've been busy. You're here now, though. Why don't you make the best of it." I tilt my head and give my best come fuck me smirk but it feels like a mask on my face.

Kayla laughs again, too high-pitched, too eager, as she walks toward the bed and flops down with practiced ease. Her tight little dress hikes up her thighs, and she pats the satin sheet beside her like it’s some kind of invitation I should be grateful for.

But my feet don’t move.

She shifts onto her knees, crawling toward me. Her perfume is strong and sweet, but underneath it, I still smell Melissa. That light, clean scent she left behind the last time we were tangled up in these sheets.

The last time I actually gave a damn.

Kayla reaches for my belt, and I don’t stop her. Not yet. I want to want this. I want to erase Melissa’s voice from my head, the way she looked at me in that hospital room.

I want to forget.

But I can’t.

Not here.

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