Page 61 of Drop Three

“I guess so,” I respond.

“And although there were no fatalities, this accident is something that haunts you every day of your life. I’d say it’s taken enough from you, don’t you think?”

I nod. I don’t know what to say. Dr. Banks is right. I’ve let this accident rob me of my happiness. I’m not the cheeriest guy but can still appreciate good things.

I may lack in some ways, but I’m rich in others.

“So what do you suggest I do? Something like this can’t be fixed overnight.”

She nods. “Of course. I suggest you let yourself have fun. Do something that brings you overwhelming joy. Do something that makes you uncomfortable and challenges you. Do something that makes you feel like your best self. But I also think you should do something that gives you closure with Gwendolyn. I’m unsure what that looks like for you, but I’m confident you’ll know when it’s time.”

I stare at her quizzically. “Doc, I don’t know if you’ve realized this about me by now, but I’m not exactly the ‘go out and have fun’ type of guy.”

“Why not?” Dr. Banks asks.

“Being around large groups of people puts me on edge.”

She nods in understanding. “That makes total sense. I’m sure your time spent behind bars is a major factor in that anxiety.”

I nod and she proceeds, “Take that for what it’s worth. In prison, you had no way of controlling the outcome for yourself and those around you. But here, in the real world, the control is yours. You can choose to leave when you want to leave and let loose when you want to let loose. The choice is yours. There’s freedom in understanding that.”

That’s an interesting way to look at it.

She is right about the uncontrollable behind bars. Every criminal there is serving a sentence you know nothing about and is capable of the worst. Giving the benefit of the doubt will get you killed. If I wasn’t on patrol for my safety at all times, I could guarantee I’d be graced with a shank in my side.

That’s how things are; no prison guard, warden, or even the best criminal can change that.

“That makes sense. But what about when the panic consumes me? How do I escape it without making a scene?”

I watch Dr. Banks’s movements as she scribbles something on the notepad before her. Her head lifts to acknowledge me. “Find the thing that stabilizes you and cling to it. Don’t let it go until you’ve surrendered the fear.”

Right.

The one thing that stabilizes me is the one thing Ican’tkeep close.

“I guess it’s worth a shot.”

18

NAVY

Navy:Hi.

Briggs:Sailor. I never thought I’d see the day :)

Navy:What gave me away?

Briggs:The hesitant greeting. But I’ll take it. I’ve been waiting for you to reach out—way to keep me on the edge of my seat, pretty girl.

Navy:I’m a woman of high demand. I told you the line was long. You were next on my list ;)

Briggs:Haha. Works for me. So how about that date?

Navy:Fine.

Briggs:Your thrill is contagious.

Navy:Where are you taking me?

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