Page 77 of Drop Three

Before I developed feelings for him, he became my best friend.

My friendship with him differed from mine with Kodi or even Tenley.

Bodhi is a listener. He lends an ear and only offers advice if asked. I never knew how much I needed that—how much venting without a solution to follow helped me.

And then Fiji fucked it all up for us.

Either way, I’d sell my soul never to have to witness him writhing in this kind of pain again. His demons take over in the dark, and it’s a real-life tragedy for a man with the most beautiful heart.

A heart he prefers to keep hidden. A heart I can only wish he gave me unlimited access to.

My eyes find him cautiously as I comfort him. The sight of a lone tear trickles down the softness of Bodhi’s cheek.

My heart stammers slightly, noticing how the isolated tear broke through when our bodies touched.

We’ve both cried with each other, yet we’re both too stubborn to let the other see it.

Bodhi is tortured and distant, yet I’ve never wanted to connect with another human so badly in my entire life.

“B…Hey, it’s me. You’re safe,” I whisper in his ear.

He shifts but makes no effort to move.

Leaving his side, I rush to get a wet washcloth to cool him off and help relax him enough to hopefully go back to sleep peacefully.

Placing the cloth on his forehead, I resume my motion.

I’m not sure why, but the song my mom once sang to me as a little girl comes to mind. I perpetually had nightmares. Most likely minuscule ones that felt substantial at the time.

I remember her songs making me instantly feel protected and no longer alone.

I want Bodhi to sense I’m here and fall back asleep without another haunting thought—so I sing to him.

“Bad dreams, bad dreams, go away. Good dreams, good dreams, here to stay. Bad dreams, bad dreams, go away. Good dreams, good dreams, here to stay.”

My mind tells me to hate him, but my heart is confident enough to win the battle.

I can’t hold back my tears. What is so wrong with me that Bodhi would hurt me so badly? Why am I never good enough?

Will I ever be enough for someone?

I only want to be loved. Is that so much to ask?

I can’tnotcare for him. But I need to keep in place the boundaries I’ve created—actually, that he created. As much as I don’t want to, I know I need to make more significant efforts to get over him, or else I’ll find myself in an unhealthy cycle while he remains careless.

I never saw you that way…I recall him saying, and reliving it in my head feels like another gut punch.

Going on the date with Briggs tonight was a step in the right direction.

I owe it to myself and the man who wined and dined me tonight, as predicted, and seems admirably interested.

Thatis the kind of man I need to focus my attention on.

I’ll start tomorrow—as soon as I know Bodhi is okay.

Bodhi’s stable breathing tells me the nightmare has subsided, and he’s finally relaxed.Good.

Now, I can clean up from the night and get some sleep myself.

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