Page 106 of Swallow Your Sorries

It feels like an eternity passes before I can say anything at all, because no relief washes over me.

I told them they couldn’t do it until the end of the period for a reason.

No hot food.

Elle’s snorts bring me back to the present. To her face, glaring at me in disgust. “Are you mad that someone ruined what you think is yours? That someone made it ugly? Or that they disobeyed you? Because it sure as hell isn’t because you give a damn about me.”

I slip my hand from her wrist, down her back and around her waist, pressing her in close and making her go up on her tiptoes as I press a kiss against her thundering heart. Over that burn, I’ll burn the whole school down over.

“It would take a lot more than burns to make you ugly, dove. Doesn’t matter if you’re covered in them.”

She’s momentarily stunned. Then her fists are pounding against my chest. Not baby blows either. She’s slugging me hard enough to leave bruises and I want her to bruise me.

“I wouldn’t have it at all if it weren’t for you! Everything is because of you!”

“Like the email?” I can’t help but ask and she strikes me harder.

I hope it feels good for her.

“I wouldn’t have sent the email if you hadn’t broken my phone.”

“I wouldn’t have broken your phone if you’d have given me the passcode. See? We can play this game for hours.”

“Let go of me.”

“No.”

“Why?What do you even get out of this? Out of holding me?”

“You. I get you.”

She swallows, trying to find the lie in my words, but she can’t because I’m not lying. I don’t lie.

“I don’t know why I want you, but I do. And I’m going to have you.”

To my surprise, she doesn’t try to squirm out of my grasp at the declaration.

“But you’re right that I allowed the burn to happen. They weren’t supposed to leave a mark on you. Hurt you. Not like that. So hit me harder.”

But her fists resting against my chest don’t start up again. Instead, they fall lank by her side, like my approval makes her want to do the exact opposite.

I pull her by the waist closer to the table, to the congealed mass of flickering candles. I break one off, holding the flame between us, and the light reveals the confusion in Elle’s eyes.

“What are you—”

“Take it.” I force it into her hand before pulling my shirt over my head whilst keeping an arm locked around her waist at all times like it’s my lifeline.

“Gant?”

“Do it in the same spot. Over my heart.”

“Do what?” But she already knows as her eyes dart from the flame to my bare chest.

I squeeze her tighter, bringing her and the flame closer. “Make us match.”

Her eyes widen, a terrifying realisation overtaking her features. “You’re actually insane. Truly unhinged.”

“You’re just noticing?”

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