Page 219 of Swallow Your Sorries

Bae's laugh is so deep and calm it rattles me. That dark energy feels so familiar.

“Are you inviting me to a pool party so that Gant can murder me?” He tilts his head and I follow the motion of his beautiful hair.

“No. No,” I say hastily, a blush already climbing my cheeks. I can’t even swim yet, just doggy paddle. “As if I even have a pool.”

I don’t have anything…

My stomach bubbles at the thought as I envision Mum’s hungover face, smeared in the previous night’s makeup. That must be what she looks like now because it’s Tuesday, and Tuesdays are double-shot night at The Watering Hole.

But a thought more than Mum’s newfound drunkenness starts to bombard me. If she’s always on this side of town, how is she making it to work on time? Sure the deli opens at eleven, but the drive’s three hours. If she’s drunk she can’t be driving.

…

Right?

Yeah, because she’s so responsible,my inner voice snarks. Like when she’d still let you go anywhere with Jarett after you’d told her how many times he’daccidentallyleft you, here, there, and everywhere.

I finger the tarnished ballet charm, hidden under my leotard now.

That was different. Mum’s been trying. She’s been taking ceramics classes again and getting back to her old self, pre-Jarett.

Or her old self, right when she’d just met Jarett.

“Gant does,” Bae says thoughtfully, bringing me back to the present. “Are you staying with him over the midterm break?”

Staying with Gant? Over midterm? Sure, Gant had brought it up but was it a common occurrence for these rich kids to have their girlfriends, fake or otherwise just spend midterm break at their houses? The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind because it was absolutely out of the question for most small-town teens I knew, eighteen or not. Or rather that I used to know. These teens are a different breed clearly. Any concept of what I thought was ‘normal’ doesn’t seem to apply to them.

That aside, did I even want to spend fourteen nights with Gant?

I did and I didn’t.

Despite his offer, I still have to live in the real world eventually and the real world is calling me to get a J.O.B until Libuelle’s opens next month. And I knew exactly where to get one. At the deli, with Mum. My old boss would definitely let me pick up a few shifts.

Yep, that would be my break. Deli cuts and pungent cheeses. Not penthouses and parties, and whatever else rich kids do that I couldn’t get caught up in because it wouldn’t be my reality after graduation.

No, I wasn’t going to Gant’s penthouse, regardless if I slept far better with him at my side in the greenhouse which I’d done every single night last week thanks to Miss Trix’s resurgence with liquor chocolates.

Well, that was until rehearsal times doubled.

Now, I rarely see Gant at all and it pains me to admit how much I miss him.

How pathetic would it be to develop separation anxiety from my stalker just because of a little break? That’d be some form of Stockholm Syndrome right? Or is it called something else now?

Regardless, I’ll find a different way to cope with my nightmares without Gant around. Like with my little Gant doll

Yes. The distance will be good for both of us.

It’ll cool down the intensity that’s getting out of hand, the giddiness of being Gant Auclair’sgirlfriend.

Calm down, Clowney. That title’s a sweet little nothing and you know it.

“No. I’m heading to the next town over where my mother lives. She’s coming to the play tomorrow night and we’re leaving together.”

“Ah, family time,” he says thoughtfully.

“Aren’t you going to spend the break with yours?” I immediately want to recant the statement the moment it leaves my lips. With a fucked up father like Jarett, and Gant’s stories about Bart, and even Rin’s tidbits, it was probably best to not assume.”

“None of us really spend time with our parents,” Bae says.

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