Page 227 of Swallow Your Sorries

What feels like hours tick by as we sit in silence, just staring at one another.

I hate the way she looks at me. With the uncanny ability to always see my soul.

That night when I held her in my arms, she’d held me too without knowing it. I can’t describe how much support her tiny frame gave me.

It’s different than my lust and obsession for Elle. It’s like…an embrace of love that’s pure, platonic. No expectations.

The closest reminder is the way my mother would hold me.

Slowly, I get up, walk to the armoire, and pull open the double doors. The pink box’s peeking out beneath a row of dark trousers. I barely grab it before Aria's snatching it from my grasp. Pursing her lips, she rests it on my bed before opening it.

I can’t see into the box from this angle but I can see her expression.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt as moved by a look in my entire life.

Not even the intense ones from my father.

“This is…disappointing,” she says softly, replacing the lid and lifting the box into her arms. “Even for you.”

I say nothing.

“What’s even more disappointing though, is that youstillwant to punish the only girl you’ve ever loved for something that can’t be undone.”

“Who says I love Elle?”

“Why else would you be so desperate for her to love you? Isn’t her hatred enough?”

I say nothing.

“You made her your girlfriend Gant.”

I’ve never had a girlfriend but that doesn’t mean anything.

She can love me, but me?

Affection is different.

“You know she loves you.”

“And I love that for her.”

“Gant. Everything you’ve done, was it all really to keep her here?”

“Obviously.”

“Is that why you let her Mum win another scratcher?”

I say nothing.

“You knew she wouldn’t have paid that rent.”

“I did it to prove a point.”

“To who? Elle doesn’t know about it.”

“To myself. To justify why Jaime needs to burn just as much as Jarett. All she does is hurt Elle. Time and again.”

“And you don’t want your baby hurt because why?”

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