Page 34 of Swallow Your Sorries

Thoughts of Beaussip fly away as a new thought that’s equally as dreadful replaces it. I’m expected to give a thank you speech to the school for awarding me with the scholarship.

My fingers shake as I grasp the printed speech I’d rewritten over seven times. It’s just twenty lines of text, right under the three-minute limit they asked for. No big deal. I could speak for two minutes and fifty-something seconds, right? I could do anything for three minutes.

Breathing in and out, I try to slow my racing heart at the thought of facing the entire senior class.

You’ve got this, Elle. What’s the worst that could happen? You trip and they laugh at you?

You’ve been through much worse.

Elle

Forty-five minutes later, I silently follow both girls down Maple House’s grand staircase and through the sprawling courtyards until we reach the middle back of the campus where a massive stone and glass building looms.

Inside is more of an opera house than a school auditorium, although it’s draped in deep royal blue and emerald green versus red. The stage is illuminated, but the lights above the plush velvet seats are dim, casting everything in shadows. At the head of the room, Ms Trix, who I can only identify because of her hair, looks right at home in a theatre chair amongst the staff. This must be where she directs all the school plays. Notably, Mr. Lexington is missing as I scan the other staff members who are all women. Perhaps he teaches the younger levels only.

My breathing quickens with each step down the long aisle as a few rows of students turn to look at me. No, not at me, at Stassi and Aria. I’m just as surprised as Stassi is when Aria links their arms.

“You’re lucky I lied to Éti about where I went last night,” she hisses, before faking a smile and waving at a group of girls.

Just how popular are the pair? Every eye turns to find them and suddenly being beside them makes me realise how much I prefer being invisible. It’s like a spotlight is on me, burning my face and neck. The most intense heat is coming from the right side of the room where the boys sit. The school is coed, but I guess certain occasions call for separation.

Unable to resist the heat source, I stare straight into its centre, and my eyes land on that beautiful boy again, the one from the front steps. He’s staring at me, but whispering into the ear of someone I almost mistake for a girl, given his long, raven hair. But when he faces me, it’s clear he’s all male. His jaw is cut from glass, and his long slanted eyes remind me of Rin’s ethereal ones and they’re looking straight at me. He lifts his hand and gives me a little wave.

Is he waving at me?I look ahead at Stassi and Aria, but they aren’t looking in his direction. Have I finally gone through my metamorphosis era? Mum told me I blossomed this summer but mums always gush about their kids, right?

I gaze behind me subtly. I’m not an idiot to just wave back, but there’s no one there. Just when I get the nerve to at least smile, a different set of eyes stops me dead. They aren’t like the liquid pools of mirth of the long-haired Asian guy, or the hypnotic eyes of the guy from the steps, no these eyes are dark. Like two black pits in a skull. Their owner is the palest of the bunch, with an undercut, and longer inky locks that sweep across his forehead, bathing him in more shadows.

I’d been wrong about the boy on the steps. Despite the dimness, I’m surethisboy is the most alluring man I’ve ever seen. Or, technically not seen but the dark mystery surrounding him makes my heart race.

It’s so damn dark. I squint, trying to make out his features better but all I can see are hollow cheeks and broad shoulders. The boys at my old school were acne-riddled, with awkward hair lengths and hunched shoulders from their overstuffed school bags. Somehow I didn’t see these boys carrying or rolling normal backpacks around campus. They probably used razor-thin laptops in real leather, messenger-style book bags.

Swallowing, I follow Aria and Stassi to the nearest row of free seats. Not wanting to seem so clingy, I go to sit a row behind them instead, but Stassi looks at me pitifully and pats the chair beside her. I smile, but my ass barely grazes the velvet, royal blue cushion before I’m up again.

“I forgot,” I say, my stomach churning faster. “The scholarship students are supposed to sit in the front row.” I look at the isolated seats up front and frown. There are three on the boys’ side and three on the girls’ side, but all six seats are taken.

“You’re a scholarship slut?” Stassi asks, but there isn’t disdain in her voice, there’s..fear?

Wait, did she just say slut?Scholarship slut?

“Damn.” Aria shakes her head.

“What?” I ask, feeling sweat bead on my brow as the girls in the previous row turn around to gawk at me as if I’m some sort of specimen. One of the girls is Rin, her silver eyes sinking into me like fish hooks. Yeah, I preferred my invisibility cloak.

Stassi only shakes her head. “It’s nothing.”

Scholarship slut?!It’s definitelysomething.

Clutching my speech, I head to the front, conscious of all the eyes following me.

“Excuse me,” I say to Ms. Trix, who happens to be the closest staff member. “Are these seats meant for the scholarship students? I’m supposed to sit with them.”

She frowns and looks at her roster. “All the recipients are already here. It’s Eloisa, right?”

“Eloisa Ginhart.” I nod, loathing the taste my full name leaves in my mouth.

She uses the light from her phone to scan the papers on her lap. “You’re not here. Which scholarship did you receive?”

“The Elaine Hardy Scholarship for ballet,” I say, showing her my acceptance letter with the metallic golden school logo at the bottom. I’d kept it in the same folder as my speech. Seeing the raised emblem of the roaring lion somehow gave me courage.

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