Page 115 of Feed Your Fiends

“Exactly. I have no clue how he broke him either, and I don’t want to know because I don’t ever want to feel sorry for Jarett. He never felt sorry for me. But whatever Bart did, what if he did that to me?”

Rin unfolds her arms, and she says the last thing I expect. “Gant would never let him.”

“You really think Gant can take on his father?”

“For you.”

For me?

Elle

I knit my brows. “You told me I was a stupid bitch for wanting to be with him.”

“And I stand by that.”

“And you still want me to destroy him?”

“It’s for the best.”

“You’re not making any sense.”

She sighs. “Look, in the hospital, you told me you never wanted to feel so helpless again. So lost in love, only to have it snatched away from you. This isn’t real,” she gestures to the room, to the bed, to Gant’s empty side. “Even if Gant wants it to be because since I’ve been here hiding in the shadows—”

“You’re creepy as fuck for that, by the way.”

“—I can see why you’d believe him. That he loves you.”

I look at her in utter shock, but she shakes her head and looks away.

“But you’re right, I don’t know if Gant could take on Bart. So, don’t wait for Gant or Bart to wake you up from this dream in the worst possible way because you know it’s coming. It’s not a matter of if, but when.”

I stare at the ceiling, my eyes burning. It’s true. I never want to feel that way again. Helpless. Lost without him. Lost without his love.

I can love myself. That should be enough.

“I know,” I whisper. “I know you’re right.”

She eyes me carefully, critically. “You say we aren’t friends, but you texted me about the Parrishs.”

“Because you wanted an update.”

“But you didn’t have to tell me about the way they treated you. Like you were nothing but a wet hole. Like all you wanted was their money.”

“Well, I’m about to prove them right.” I hadn’t told her that they’d given me money already, too. When I’d texted Rin, I was desperate for an outlet and, begrudgingly, as she called it, a friend. I couldn’t bring myself to message Aria or Stassi. They wouldn’t understand…but Rin would.

“And rightfully so. They want to be right so bad, prove them right.”

“But how is that winning? If I’m doing exactly what they expect?” Why does it make me feel socheapdespite the price tag?

“Is that what’s bothering you?” she asks. “Elle, who cares what they think. They’ll think that about you regardless. Your focus is on disproving Gant. Disproving that you're a pathetic pussy he can toy with. Someone he can fuck over and use as a cum rag later.”

Don’t say it.

Don’t say your deepest secret.

“What if…I want to be sometime?”

“Bitch!” She hisses. “Say sike right now.”

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