The only thing appeasing me, for now, is knowing that if she’s with Stassi, then she’s safe. Resting comfortably against hundreds of pink satin pillows, her feet elevated, with a butler bringing her all her heart’s desires.
She wouldn’t accept anything from me, even before the rigged ballet slippers. Maybe from Stassi, she could accept what she’s always deserved, and that gives me the tiniest shred of relief.
“I’d rather call Etienne.”
“I told you he’s gone.”
Precisely. “Where?”
“To his mother’s.”
“Etienne never visits his mother,” I say matter-of-factly. “He can’t sleep without you.”
“We’re not kids any more. He can take a trip without me.”
“Can he?”
“Don’t change the subject. Your mother isn’t like Jaime. You always defended the way she treated you. These letters… Gant. She had another little prince?”
“Just one. And he isn’t me. I told you, she didn’t write me letters. Or leave me her precious jewels.” They shimmer in front of the fireplace, tossed on the tile like they’re worthless. Only one held any sort of meaning once I found out they were never mine, and that’s because it sat on Elle’s finger. Until she sold it.
Aria swallows the information and touches the parchment gingerly. “But…still. These letters about some secret son don’t change her affection for you. You can love two people at once.”
“I don’t have memories of my mother before I was eight,” I say, suddenly hoarse. “Do you know that’s not normal?”
Aria just watches me. Waiting for me to go on.
“I had the best childhood here with her. But childhoods don’t start at age eight. I don’t know why she decided to choose me then. Maybe my father was getting more involved at that point, and she woke up to what I’d become if I was under his wing instead of hers. Something had shifted. I don’t know what. I don’t remember a before, just an after.” I look at the letters. “She was his mother from the start.”
“But…if you don’t know about him…she couldn’t have been his mother for long, could she? Not when she was with you full-time.”
“It doesn’t matter. Even if she wasn’t there physically, she was always his mother. From the moment she laid eyes on him. She didn’t choose to be mine until she had no choice. She was forced to become my mother like she was forced to marry Bart. And maybe…maybe when I looked like him, instead of this angelic being with eyes like spring and hair like molten gold, she disassociated from me the way she did with my father. She didn’t love him. She didn’t love me at first sight.”
“But she did love you.”
“After.”
“And that changes everything for you?”
“Everything.”
Silence, heavy and suffocating, fills the room for a long beat.
“You’re trying to find this brother, aren’t you?” she asks finally. “ Is that why Bart came to the play? To tell you about him?”
Aria was in the nurse’s wing by the time Bart showed up, but I’m not surprised that she learned of his little visit. What doesn’t Aria know? Besides, why Etienne’s wasting time with Rin…
“He opened my vault. The one my mother left to me.”
“The one with all these mementoes,” she says, filling in the blank. “So he just found out about this child too.”
“He’s not a child any more. He’s a man exactly one year older than I am.”
“Bart’s the most powerful man in the city. Why would he need your help to track this child down?”
“There are no records. My mother was meticulous when she had the baby in a foreign country. Any document that’s out there must be lost or sealed. Everything wasn’t electronic back then, especially if she travelled by land. We don’t even know where to start. Just a place with a lot of springs or baths and a beach, apparently.”
Aria shakes her head. “How does he think you can help if his men can’t? It doesn’t make any sense.”