I sigh, head dropping between my shoulders. “Sorry.”
Natalie comes to stand beside me, wrapping her arms around herself. For a moment, neither of us says anything. Then, softly, “You okay?”
I let out a dry laugh. “Not even close.”
She nods. “Want to talk about it?”
“I don’t know if I can.”
She shrugs. “Try.”
I grip the railing tighter. “I messed it up. With Cricket.”
Natalie shifts beside me, watching the ocean like I am, like we both need something steady. “Tell me the whole thing.”
“She thinks I was hiding my connection to Star Mountain,” I say, then glance over.
“Were you?”
The question doesn’t sting coming from her, not like it did when I asked myself the same thing an hour ago. I rub the back of my neck. “I didn’t lie. But I didn’t tell her. I should’ve. I was trying to keep things uncomplicated.”
“Because she might leave if she knew too much?” Natalie asks.
I nod.
“That’s dumb,” she says, no hesitation. “But I get it.”
I huff a small laugh. “Thanks.”
“She really likes you, you know.”
“I know,” I say quietly. “But tonight, the way she looked at me—it’s like I’d broken something she didn’t think I would.”
Natalie’s quiet for a beat, then says, “You’ve always done that.”
“Done what?”
“Held things back. Tried to protect me, protect other people, by not letting them in all the way.” She glances at me, her expression softer than I expect. “I used to think you were just being strong. Now I think maybe you were scared.”
I swallow hard. “Yeah. I was.”
“Still are,” she says gently.
I nod, unable to pretend otherwise. “I didn’t want to risk what we had by making it more complicated. And now I think I’ve lost it anyway.”
Natalie rests her forearms on the railing. “So tell her. Be honest. Even if it’s messy. Especially if it’s messy.”
I look over at her, surprised by the echo of Luke’s wisdom in her voice.
She shrugs. “I live with Luke. Some of it rubs off.”
I smile despite myself.
“She deserves to know how you feel,” she says, more quietly now. “And if she’s mad, or scared, or unsure—fine. But don’t take her choice away by trying to protect her from something that’s already real.”
I close my eyes for a second. “I love her.”
“I know,” Natalie says. “So go tell her. Before you become the reason she doesn’t believe in stuff like this anymore.”