Page 35 of The Greek Billionaire's Rejected Secretary

What about me, God?

What about me?

Is my life the way it is because it's how You want it?

"Shay?"

And there it is again.

Hope interrupting my thoughts at the right moment...and stopping me from making accusations that even I know are unfair and baseless.

"What happened?" Hope glances at her husband. "Maybe you should—"

I shake my head. "He should probably stay. Maybe he can share a guy's perspective or something."

"Then I'll stay for as long as I'm needed."

Colin's voice is quiet and gentle.

It's actually how I wish my father would have talked to me, the day he and Mom decided to separate. And just remembering this brings fresh tears to my eyes.

I'm so, so tired.

Just so, so tired of bottling everything up inside me—

"I don't know what to do..."

The words come out in a rush, and after that, the truth. Me being silly and stubborn when I insisted on pretending that nothing had changed. And after that, me being impulsive and shamefully weak when temptation got the better of us. And after that...

Tonight is what hurts the most. Because when he told me I was driving him crazy, I believed him. So why was he okay with Therese pawing him like that? Had he been lying to me all this time? When I allowed him to touch me that night...had that been enough to make the novelty of having me gradually wear off? Had I stopped being a challenge, and that was why I had lost interest? Was this God's way of—

"You need to stop beating yourself up over what happened, Shay."

Hope squeezes my hand as she speaks, and her words make me feel like I'm slowly emerging from this world of darkness that I didn't even realize I had been trapped in.

"Please know that I'm not judging or condoning anything you did, but right now, I think there's one thing you need to hear the most."

Oh no.

Why do I feel like covering my ears when I see Hope leaning forward? It's almost like—

"Please stop punishing yourself every time you feel you've done something wrong."

Almost like she sees through me even though we haven't talked to each other for years—

"It doesn't work that way, Shay. And God...He doesn't work that way either."

Because He wants to tell me something through her.

I didn't even realize I'm crying again until Hope sits down next to me, and I'm crying in her arms like I'm a little girl again.

Her words remind me of the past, and Hope listens with sympathy and patience as I tell her about how I had once told my dad about getting my first B- in school, and him just nodding before telling me he's done with our family.

"I think I'm even more confused this time," I joke tearfully as I pull away. "I thought I was coming here to vent about my boss, but instead I end up talking about old childhood wounds that I didn't know existed."

Ever the thoughtful gentleman, Colin offers us tissues, and we both laugh helplessly even as we start dabbing our eyes.

"God works in mysterious ways," my friend says, and all I can do is nod.

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