Page 47 of Veil of Vengeance

“I think I’m becoming quite fond of something I unfortunately cannot keep or replace.”

Brushing some strands out of her face, I swallow roughly and take a deep breath. With one more look, I turn back around and place the cup back on the bedside table, grabbing my book. Then I lean back into my seat, waiting for her.

CHAPTER 13

VALENTINA

A week ago

To say I have whiplash would be an understatement. I head back to the three women in a daze.

“What did Eli want?” They all turn and look at me as Mariana asks, “If you don’t mind me asking.”

“My mom wanted to talk to me.” I still feel out of sorts, as if my head is floating above my body. They’re silent for a moment before sensing I’m not in the mood to talk about my family, so they change the topic. I don’t really pay attention to the conversation, still confused. After we finish the food and the sky has become an array of orange and red, the women decide it is time to retire to our rooms.

I’m sitting by the balcony door in the room I’m trapped in. I’d managed to drag the armchair close enough to see outside, and the mid-fall breeze cools the room.

The sky has become pitch black, and I could make out some stars in the distance. In Chicago, we could never make out anything other than the black sky. I close my eyes and try to imagine what it would be like to be back home.

In my Mom’s arms, and to have Violette making snide remarks toward Mia when she’d come over. What it would be like to braid Monica’s hair, and to play with Marcello and the dogs. To hear Nonna tut at us for being unladylike.

The smell of Zehra cooking her infamous Adana kebab wafts around the kitchen and the four of us are all sitting around the kitchen island, waiting to taste it.

She places the plate of hot kebabs and slaps Marcello’s hand when he reaches for them, causing us to giggle. But the memory slowly disappears, leaving me with just the darkness.

I still can’t believe that Dad is taking this long to negotiate with the Camorra. I already know he doesn’t care about us as his family, but it’s as if he doesn’t care about the deal he’d made with the Colombians.

Unless he’s going to use one of my other sisters. I shake my head; no, Nonna would never allow it. Even if she doesn’t have much hand in Dad’s decision, she still has my uncles on her side. Besides, Violette is nineteen and Monica has just turned fourteen.

I bring up my legs and set the soles of my feet on the edge of the armchair, resting my head on my knees. I still can’t believe what the hell has happened in the kitchen today. Lifting my fingertips, I graze my lips.

Mortification drums through my veins persistently at how easily I kissed him back. God, this whole situation is so fucked up. What the hell does it even mean? Why did he kiss me? And why did I like it? I’m so confused, and it doesn’t help that he’s the literal enemy and the person who kidnapped me. I wish I was just a normal person, a normal twenty-one-year-old.

I really hope he doesn’t use that against the Outfit, because if he tries that, Dad will take it out on Mom and my sisters, or even Marcello since I’m out of reach. If only Dad cared about us as much as the fucking Outfit and his pride, maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation. ??

I lean my head back onto the back of the chair and keep my eyes shut. They begin to sting, and I know what will be coming, but I just keep my eyes closed tight.

Hot, wet tears roll down the sides of my face and my body shakes with the effort of containing my sobs. I breathe heavily through my nose, trying to calm myself, but I just continue to cry silently.

I cry until there’s no more tears left and my cheeks have dried. The soft breeze soothes my heated face, and even though my eyes are already closed, my eyelids feel heavy.

Exhaustion weighs heavily on me. I cover my mouth with the back of my palm as a yawn breaks out. Even though goosebumps litter my arms, and the light pajamas Mara gave me aren’t keeping me warm, I still don’t get up from the armchair. Shivers break out across my entire body and the darkness swoops in to take me away.

“Valentina, you’re finally back.” Mom stands in the middle of my room with her arms wide open. I run to her, feeling my tears leave wet trails down my cheeks. “I’ve missed you too, Mia cara,” she says as she buries her face into my hair.

I pull back, my eyes scanning her from head to toe. A gasp leaves my lips as I spot the fading bruise under her right eye, and she winces when I graze her forearm. I grit my teeth to stop myself from confronting my dad for being a coward and thinking that putting his hands on us makes him a man.

Mom shakes her head at me. “Cara, I know how you feel, and I understand. I agree with you and support you, but a man like your Dad cannot be dealt with. At least not by us.” She squeezes my shoulders firmly.

I shake my head right back as I tell her, “We can do something, Mama.” Her eyes widen at my suggestion.

“I know we can’t escape the Outfit. But Dad will get his karma. Someday, someone will give him his due.” I tilt my chin, refusing to cower anymore. My Dad’s tyranny may work on his soldiers, but not us. Not anymore. Mom’s eyes soften as she scans my face.

“You have grown into such a strong and smart young woman. I am so proud of you, beyond what words can convey.” Mom’s eyes glaze over, and she sniffles a bit before turning her head to the side.

“I’ve had an amazing role model, after all.” I smile. Mom bites her lip and shakes her head, her long blonde hair falling around her shoulders.

“No. I’m not strong. I wish I was, but I couldn’t even do my children justice and protect them from a vile man.” The poison in her voice is clear as day, but behind it, her sadness is palpable.

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