Page 13 of Justice for Daesha

She snorted. “Oh, I know better than that. You’re not attracted to me. Men in general aren’t attracted to me. They don’t want me.”

“What makes you say that?”

The papers she had in her hand dropped to the tabletop and she stared at him. “Why wouldn’t I say that? Look at me. Men don’t want this. They want the cheerleaders, especially the ones with two real feet. Even if they managed to see me, when they find out about my amputation, they’re disgusted. I’m an untouchable.” She stopped for a few seconds before she added, “Why am I saying all this to you? You already know it. You don’t want me either, so you’ve already figured it out.”

Amos wasn’t sure why, but he grabbed her wrist and stopped her movement. She spun instantly to stare into his face with something he thought was mild fury, but he couldn’t help himself when his mouth opened. “You’ve got the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen in my life.”

Her jaw dropped. “You’re serious,” she barely whispered.

It was as though his filters all dissolved when Amos leaned into her and kissed her. His free hand came up to stroke her cheek, and he was shocked at the hunger he felt rolling off her lips. When he broke the kiss, she stared at him, and that was the moment he saw it.

There was a tiny crystal tear in the corner of her eye. “Please,” she whispered in something like a prayer, “don’t do this to me.”

His heart torqued in his chest. This woman had been through hell, and she’d come out the other side and actually managed to laugh and smile. He was pretty sure if he’d been through everything she’d been through, he’d never smile again, and yet she’d made a good life for herself. Something bloomed in his chest, and he recognized it immediately.

Respect.

Low and quietly, he asked, “Can I tell you a secret?” She nodded. “That server at the restaurant?” She nodded again. “He told me not to hurt you, that you’d had enough hurt in your life. Daesha, I would never hurt you. I respect you far too much.”

The tear escaped and slid down her cheek. “Why does that sound a lot like a pickup line to me?”

It clicked. Amos understood in that blinding second why all his other relationships had crumbled. He’d been with all the wrong women, and he’d been with them for all the wrong reasons. That had to stop if he ever wanted to have a real relationship with a real person, and this woman was real. Matter of fact, he didn’t think he’d ever met anyone as real as she was. She was all in-your-face, here’s-who-I-am-and-I-can’t-change-it from the first instant, and he needed that. Talk about a reality check?she was the real deal. Before he could stop himself, he said, “I’d like a chance to make you change your mind on that.”

“What do you want from me?” she asked in a whisper.

“Just be yourself. That’s all I want. And I’ll be myself, my real self, not the mask I put on for everybody. I’ll just be me. You may not like me. But what I want?” Three more tears fell down her cheeks. “I want you to have for me just a crumb, just a speck, of the respect that I feel for you right now. Because I do respect you, Daesha. I barely know you and I think I respect and admire you more than anybody I’ve ever met. You’re not a survivor. You’re a thriver. I’ve never known anybody else like you in my life, and I have this feeling if I don’t get to know you, I’m going to kick myself through all eternity.”

Her tears had gone from silent slivers of silver to open sobbing. “But my amputation…”

“You let me worry about that. That’s not your bugaboo. That’s mine to deal with, and Iwilldeal with it. You don’t owe me any explanations or apologies. At all. So get that out of your head. But I’m not going to lie to you. It does bother me, but not for the reasons you think. I think it’s mostly because I don’t understand it. So help me understand, please? I don’t want to be that shallow guy. I want to be somebody who’s worthy of knowing somebody like you, Daesha. You’re an amazing person, and I’m lucky to have met you.”

As he watched, she crumbled, and without even thinking about it, he wrapped both arms around her and drew her to him, holding her as she cried. He knew the sobs he was hearing were from years and years of pent-up frustration, and if she needed to let that out, she could do that on him. He’d let her. He’d be the sponge that soaked up those tears and squeezed them out as water for a tree that would bear beautiful fruit. Stroking her back lightly, he whispered, “That’s it, sweetie. Let it all out. It’s okay.” She cried like that for five minutes, and he knew she’d be hoarse when she was finished.

The sobs ran into hiccupping sniffles and she finally sat up and wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands. “I’m sorry. You must think I’m crazy.”

“No. I think you’re tired and frustrated and hurting and you need answers. I want you to get those answers, you and your family. And I’d really love it if I were the guy to deliver them.”

“Thank you, Amos. I appreciate it. But why did you kiss me?”

“Gee, I don’t know, beautiful. Why did I kiss you? And why am I itching to kiss you again?”

Fear and disbelief mingled on her face, and Amos almost chuckled?almost. “You want to kiss me again? I thought it was an accident.”

He had to laugh at that. “Oh, baby, that was no accident! I don’t go aroundaccidentallykissing people! Never have, and I don’t plan to start anytime soon. Tell you what. Let me get all this to my car, and then I’ll come back in and tell you goodbye properly.”

She shrugged. “I have no idea what that means, but okay.”

“You’re about to find out. Hang on.” Amos gathered up all the files and took them out to the car, then headed back inside. By the time he got there, she was standing at the door, watching, so he stepped inside and let the storm door close behind him. “Okay. I need to go because I’ve got to get up and go to work tomorrow. But I really, really enjoyed dinner. You’re a spectacular cook. And I really, really enjoyed sitting here talking to you. And I really, really,reallyenjoyed that kiss. I enjoyed it this much.” With that, he took her chin in his fingers and kissed her.

To his delight, her arms wound around his neck and he slipped his hand down to wrap both arms around her waist. Pulling her into him, he could feel her warmth through his clothes, and the taste of the merlot on her lips was more intoxicating than the wine itself. When he broke the kiss, he gave her a soft smile, and she smiled back. “Okay. See how much I enjoyed that? Did you enjoy it?”

She chuckled just a little. “I did.”

“Good. Then let’s do it again. Soon. Like tomorrow night. I’d love to cook for you, but I have to warn you?it won’t be this fancy, and my place looks like a secondhand furniture showroom compared to this,” he said, looking around.

“I’m sure it’s fine. And yes?I’d love to come to your place. What can I bring?”

“Nothing. Yourself. I’ll let you know when I’m leaving the office so you can come on over. You shouldn’t have any trouble finding the place, but it takes me a while to get home, so know that.”

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