Page 19 of Refuge for Cherilyn

“It’s okay. Someday I’m going to get a call that she’s pregnant by some forty-year-old asshole or in jail for something stupid, and suddenly I’ll be the person she can count on.”

“Your parents?”

“They live here in town. I see them pretty often, and we’re close.”

“Does she see them?”

“Not much. She sees them as old country hicks and really doesn’t care about them.”

Cherilyn took a deep breath and blew it out. “Someday, when her life’s gone to shit and she’s got nobody else, she’s going to regret blowing all of you off. You do realize that, right?”

“I hope you’re wrong, because I really don’t want her life to go to shit. I’d just like to be part of it.”

“How old is she?”

“Fifteen.”

“Like Maya. That’s a tough age.”

“Yeah. I remember all too well. For what they’ve been through, your two seem pretty well-adjusted.”

“Maya, yes. Lara… Honestly, I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to keep her at home. She’s getting older and stronger, and there’s going to come a time when I can’t control her. I’ll probably have to send her somewhere. I don’t want to, but if I can’t control her, she won’t be safe, and above everything else, I want her to be safe. That’s the most important thing.”

“I agree, and I think it’s pretty selfless of you to feel that way,” Shaw said and took another sip of bourbon.

“Not selfless. It’s just a fact. If she takes after Frankie’s side of the family, and so far she has, she’ll be bigger than me by the time she’s fourteen, so I won’t have a choice. When I can’t keep her from running out in traffic, or she knocks me down and kicks me when she gets mad, she’ll no longer be safe with me, and I’ll have to make a decision.”

“I’m sorry, Cherilyn. It has to be hard.”

“It’s my lot in life. Nobody asked me if I could handle it before it happened to me, so I just have to deal with it.”

They sat there in silence. If Cherilyn had to characterize it, it would be companionable silence. She didn’t feel like she had to fill every second with conversation, and Shaw was easy to talk to. For a professional man, he was surprisingly relaxed and laid back, and she needed that, the idea that she could relax with someone and not be on her guard constantly. What was it about him?

All of a sudden, the bourbon hit her like a sledgehammer, and the tension of the last three-plus weeks settled in instantly. “Oh, god. I’m so tired. I feel like I’m just going to pass out.”

“You’re relaxing from the absence of stress as the bourbon is melting it all away. You probably need to go to bed.”

“I think I will. Shaw, thank you so much. Seeing my kids lying there, quiet and still and unworried… that means everything to me.”

“You’re very welcome. Hang on just a minute.” He hopped up, and she wondered where he was going. When he reappeared, he had a bottle of water in his hand. “Go on in there and lie down. Take a nap. I’ll wake you guys when I’ve got some dinner for us. But you’ve been under a lot of stress. You deserve to lie down and get some sleep without worrying about what’s going to happen in the next minute. While you’re down, I’ll wash all the clothes and they’ll be clean by the time you wake up. Do you like pork?”

She was a bit confused. “What?”

“I asked, do you like pork? I’ve got a pork roast in here, and some vegetables, and I can?”

“Don’t go to any trouble for us.”

“I’m not. I’ve gotta eat too!” he said and laughed.

“Yeah. We like pork. We like just about anything.”

“Okay. Go lie down. Get some rest. You deserve it. And Cherilyn?”

“Yeah?”

“I meant everything I said. You’re not alone in this anymore. I’m involved now, and so are Aaron and his wife. She’ll come by and get some sizes and stuff from you and the girls, and everything will be fine. You’ll have what you need, some of what you want, and a safe place to be until we can figure all of this out, okay? Your worries are over.”

She felt tears pool in her lower lids. “Thank you,” she managed to croak out.