Page 5 of Refuge for Cherilyn

“Mom! That’s gross! Are you serious?”

“Baby, we do what we have to. I’m just trying to keep us alive.”

“MAAA. I gah DAHHHH.”

She stooped to look into Lara’s eyes. “Yes, sweetie. Your dolly is very pretty too.”

“I UNT my BED.”

“We can’t go to your bed right now, but we will soon.”I just lied to my child, she told herself, but there was no way around it.

The afternoon passed in the usual way, the three of them playing silly little games and making crafts out of things they found in the woods. She wished they could build a fire, but that was out of the question, so they had nothing for heat. At least it only got down into the fifties at night. When the three of them wrapped up together, they kept plenty warm enough, but she hoped it wouldn’t be long before she could be in a bed somewhere, alone, with the girls in another room. She loved them, but keeping them satisfied and quiet was becoming more than she could handle.

She got them down for the night, wrapped up together. “Now listen to me. Stay right here. I’m going to the lodge to see if I can find food and a way to get in and get some feminine products. I’ll be back as fast as I can, okay? Maya, look after your sister.”

“Look after your sister, look after your sister. That’syourjob, not mine.”

“Maya, please! Try to be a little kinder and help me out a bit. I’m doing the best I can.”

“We could gohome. That would be a big help,” the girl huffed. “Why can’t we go home?”

“We can’t do that right now. So stay here. I’ll be right back.” Cherilyn put on her boots, grabbed her backpack, and headed toward the lodge. But when she was about fifty yards away, she turned and looked back.

The little tent looked pitiful there in the brush, but she didn’t know what else to do. It wasn’t safe to be in town, and it wasn’t safe there. There was no middle ground. He knew she’d seen him, and she would bet he was looking for her at that very moment. He probably hadn’t done much else since that night.

She looked through the dumpster first. The restaurant had been closed for at least thirty minutes, so she figured they’d already brought out the trash. The lid was open and she was about to lean in when she heard laughter, so she wheeled around and hid behind the big steel bin.

“God, I hate to throw this stuff out,” a female voice said.

Another one tuned up. “Yeah, I know, but we have to. Have you ever, you know… taken any of it home?”

“Oh, yeah. When Mike was laid off, I took stuff home every night. Roxie knew it too, but she didn’t say anything. She knew we needed it.”

“Yeah, I’ve been tempted a few times. If the shops go on furlough again, I might have to, and it’s looking like that’s gonna happen.”

“Yeah. Unemployment only goes so far.”

Cherilyn knew that. She also knew what it was like to be unable to work because you had a disabled child. Once Lara had started school, it had gotten easier, but trying to explain to an employer why you had to leave because your child was having a meltdown at school was almost impossible. Lara’s intellectual disability was classified as severe with her IQ at around forty, but she did manage to communicate some. Of course, when she was upset and couldn’t make people around her understand, she went completely wild, and no one could handle her but Cherilyn. One day she’d finally given up and taken on the role of full-time caregiver.

She waited until the women stopped talking and went inside, then sneaked around the front of the waste bin and started going through the bags. Something struck her as odd. There was a lot of food waste, but it was neatly wrapped in foil, almost like it had been packaged. There was chicken, and fried potatoes, and broccoli florets. Did they know she was out there? Had they seen her? Or had they noticed someone had gone through it? She pulled several packets out, stashed them in her backpack, and was about to sneak away when the door opened. “There you are!”

Cherilyn spun, terrified, to find a girl who looked like she was in her early twenties. “I’m, I’m, I’m sorry. I’ll put it back and?”

“No, no! I saw you out here last week. We’re trying to leave everything we can for you.”

“Please don’t tell anybody that?”

“Hey, honey,” the girl said, “if you’re out here digging through trash and living in the woods, there’s got to be a good reason. If I can help you with anything, I guess just leave me a note and I’ll try.”

Won’t hurt to ask, I suppose, she told herself. “Do you by any chance know where I could get some sanitary supplies for my daughter?”

“We’ve got a few in here that we keep for guests. I’ll give you those, and I can go down to the shelter and get them to give me some. Why don’t you go there? It would be better than?”

“NO! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. I just, I can’t. He could find me there, and if he does?”

“I get it. Abusive ex?”

That’s much easier to explain, I guess, Cherilyn told herself. “Yeah. Very.”

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