Page 23 of Bear's Heart

She wouldn’t even go there.She forced a smile.“Nope.”

“That’s great news.”He smiled at her and then dropped a kiss on her lips this time, blue eyes crinkling.“I think we should go out somewhere tonight.Someplace special.Celebrate.”

Celebrate.

She lifted a hand to his face, touched his cheek, his skin warm, a hint of beard rasping her fingertips.He had a nice face.It matched his pure heart.“We don’t need to go out.”

“But, baby, this is a big deal.You were so worried.Now you can still go on tour in a couple weeks.”

Hurt just to hear Noah call the six-week, play-for-no-pay trip through the southwest hertour.She’d never imagined that after seven years in this business she’d still be struggling, sleeping on a retired school bus with the musicians while they drove all night to get to the next gig.

“I’m not so sure I want to go,” she said, sitting up, rubbing the top of her head.

She wasn’t nauseous anymore, but she still got headaches.She’d be glad when they stopped.None of the pain relievers touched them, but then, she didn’t take the strong stuff.Just in case they hurt the… you know.

Noah sat down next to her, then pulled her onto his lap.“Why don’t you want to go?You love performing.You were born to sing.”

She was so close to him she could see the bits of green in his blue eyes.When Noah was emotional his eyes turned aquamarine.They weren’t turquoise now, but they were beautiful.He was beautiful.And patient.Supportive.Interested in her, and her life, and her dreams.He was everything a girl wanted.Hell, he was everything her parents wanted for her.The man had faith.He prayed.

If only she’d met him before Bear.Things would have been different.

Yeah.She’d be married by now, with three or four little kids running around, tugging on her, crying for juice or animal crackers or whatever it was kids cried for.

But that wasn’t the life she wanted.Staying home, taking care of kids, while Noah traveled on his circuit, riding bulls…

She didn’t want to be home.She wanted the stage, the lights, the microphone.She wanted everyone to know her, to love her music.To love her.

Her daddy used to caution her against desiring fame, saying that fame was Satan’s province.That no matter what one accomplished, it might not ever be enough.

Her daddy might be right about that.

She’d spent all these years in Nashville, and she could draw a nice little crowd on the right night to the right bar, but she wasn’t a star.

She wanted to be a star.

And she would be.It was just a matter of getting out there, working hard, and being in the right place at the right time.

She leaned forward, kissed Noah.“Okay, let’s go out.You decide where.I’ll go shower and change.”

In the shower, Savannah turned her back to the warm hard spray and used her favorite scented gel, sliding the foaming cleanser over her breasts and belly, down her legs, under her arms as the hot water pulsed against her back.

In the morning, she’d call the clinic Dr.Matthews’s nurse gave her and schedule the appointment.She’d schedule it for next week, toward the end of the week, when Noah would be gone.He’d never know.It’d be fine.Better for both of them.

The bathroom door opened.Noah entered, whistling.The sink faucet turned on.She could see him through the shower’s thick bubbled glass standing at the sink, lathering his face with shaving cream.He always shaved before he went out at night even though he’d shaved that morning.Noah was Mr.Clean.Make that squeaky clean.

She laughed to herself, turned away, facing the showerhead to wash off the body gel.

She’d never liked guys like Noah.They were just too nice, too predictable, and predictable was boring.

Bad boys intrigued her.Bad boys kept her guessing.Bad boys were hard on her heart, but for some reason that appealed.It made love feel active.Like she was having to do something, which made her feel something, which made her feel.It was hard to feel sometimes.

She was never supposed to be with Noah this long.He was supposed to be a rebound.Just like the guy before him, and the guy before that.Noah was merely a way to get over Bear.

But she hadn’t got over him, had she?

She still dreamed about Bear at night, and woke hoping to find him in her bed.

He wasn’t.He’d left Nashville and her.

---