Page 47 of Home in Nevada

“Stop,” I choke out, my voice breaking. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“I’ll feel better if you take it,” Jamie mutters, his red, swollen eyes fixed on the money in his hands instead of me.

“Too bad. I don’t fucking want it.” I push the cash away and go back to packing, leaving Jamie standing there in the bedroom, still clutching the bills to his chest.

I walk into the living room, take one last look around, and sling the bag over my shoulder. My fingers fumble as I try to pull an extra apartment key off my key ring.

“Did you even text Lucy?” Jamie asks quietly. “Are you just going to show up? What if you can’t stay?”

“It’ll be fine,” I reply, barely meeting his gaze. “Or I can sleep in my car. It’s fine.” I hold the key out to him. “Here. When you leave, just leave it under the doormat. I’ll come back Sunday morning, so you don’t have to worry about me showing up. I won’t bother you, Jamie. I promise. I’m sorry.”

Jamie doesn’t take the key right away, just stares at it like it weighs a thousand pounds.

I glance down at him, my heart aching. Is this really it? The last time I’ll see my best friend? How did we end up here again, falling apart like this?

This night was supposed to be different.

I take in every detail of him—his messy blonde hair, the curve of his lips, his sharp jawline. His warm, expressive eyes are fixed on the carpet, refusing to look at me.

“Jamie,” I say softly, my voice breaking, “I know you fucking hate me right now, but... damn. I’m going to miss you so much. This wasn’t what I wanted at all.” I choke back a sob, pressing a hand to my wet eyes. I feel so out of control, so fucking stupid for crying.

“Jamie, you’re special,” I continue, my voice barely above a whisper. “You have a good head on your shoulders. You’re going to make someone so happy someday. Someone way better than me. Someone who won’t upset you or make you feel like shit all the time. You’re going to be fine, and everything’s going to be okay. I’m so sorry you had to come all the way out here for it to end like this. I’m a fucking idiot, and I’m so sorry, dude.”

I want to hug him so badly, but I know he won’t let me.

I can’t stay here a second longer, or I’ll end up falling apart on the kitchen floor.

I leave the key on the counter, grab my jacket from the coat rack, and head for the door. The silence is brutal, cutting me open as I open the door and close it behind me.

That’s it.

This is officially the worst day of my life.

I trudge down to my car, open the trunk, and throw my bag inside. Then I climb into the driver’s seat and start the engine, heading toward Lucy’s apartment, my heart heavy in my chest.

Chapter 13

The one where Jeff puts Jamie first.

I’msobbinguncontrollablyasI drive to Lucy’s, the tears streaming down my face, hot and endless. I’m pretty sure there’s snot smeared all over me, but I can’t bring myself to care. Everything I’ve been holding in—every insecurity, every fear—bursts out of me all at once, overwhelming me.

When I finally pull into her apartment complex, I’m a complete mess. My chest feels raw, my throat aches, and my mind won’t stop racing, replaying every awful moment of the night like some cruel highlight reel. The way Jamie looked at me, like he didn’t trust me. Like I’d already let him down.

Did all of that really just happen?

My hands tremble as I fumble for my phone. I wipe my face with the back of my hand, then drag my jacket sleeve across my nose, trying to pull myself together. I take a shaky breath, but it does nothing to steady me.

I feel utterly wrecked.

Jeff: Something bad happened. Can I stay at your place?

Like a true champ, she was already typing.

Lucy: What???? Of fucking course you can, what happened?

Jeff: I'm out front.

I’m so grateful for Lucy. Once again, she’s here for me, pulling me out of my own mess. No matter the chaos I create, she always has my back. In this state of self-loathing, I’m not even sure I deserve someone as incredible as her. She feels like a goddamn angel.

---