Page 28 of Semblance

I met his question with a shrug. So this was it; the relationship talk. I knew this day was coming at some point. I had tried so hard to put it off, but I knew I couldn’t run away from the inevitable forever.

“Aria…” Justin began.

“Look Justin, you’re an important part of my life,” I said. “In fact, you’re the only friend I have in this lonely place.”

“I can be more than that,” he said, reaching for my hands. I pulled them back and saw the look of hurt on his face.

“Why not?” he asked.

“I just don’t want any relationship right now.”

“What about later on?”

I shook my head. “Eventually yes,” I said and paused before adding. “But with someone else.”

If this were a street fight, those words were the knockout punch. Justin looked at me like I had stabbed him, tears welling up in his eyes.

“I…I love you Aria.”

Ugh. I brought this on myself. Justin needed to know how I felt. I had been stringing him along for far too long now, all because I was a lonely, selfish girl.

“Justin,” I began, “I told you this many times, you’re important to me. But I’ve always seen you like the brother I never had. To start dating you would be…” choose your next words wisely Aria, “…like incest.”

Legendary failure.

“The thought of us together disgusts you that much?” he asked.

“No,” I said, “that came out all wrong. God, I’m terrible at expressing myself sometimes.”

“No,” Justin said, the look of hurt evolving into anger now. “I think you made it loud and clear. Well, I wouldn’t want you to feel like being with me was some forbidden taboo. We’re done here.”

He turned around and stormed off. I wanted to call out to him, but stopped myself. Emotions were at a peak, and nothing good would come out of anything he or I said right now. I’ll text him in a few days. Hopefully he’ll have cooled off by then.

I watched as Justin—my only friend in the world—disappeared over the horizon. Like everyone else in my life, he left me alone and feeling miserable.

But telling him the truth was the right thing to do; theonlything to do wasn’t it?

#

Chapter Eight:

After mutilating Justin’s heart with my brilliant ‘feels like incest’ explanation, I felt awful. I could have sat around feeling miserable about the entire thing, but I decided to do something for myself instead, just to take my mind off things.

It’s been so long since I had a ‘me only’ day.

With my freshly stocked bank account, I headed over to the mall to buy some new clothes, which was a long time coming.

I only had three pairs of jeans, which all had holes in various locations and not being able to afford a new pair, I ended up becoming quite skilled in the art of sewing up the gaps.

With some newfound financial flexibility, the thought of retiring my jeans and wearing a brand new pair delighted me.

I decided to spoil myself and purchase a pair of designer skinny jeans that was one hundred and thirty six percent over my usual budget.

With my credit card in hand, I strolled up to the cash register of the trendy boutique to ring in my purchase. However after inserting my card through the chip reader, the foggy-eyed cashier pulled out my card and returned it to me, smiling while shaking her head.

“Shit, am I maxed out again?” I asked.

“Your money is no good here.”

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