Page 33 of Semblance

As I stepped off the treadmill to get some water, I noticed that three other girls in the gym were staring at me. They were all dolled up in expensive yoga pants while plastered with makeup and they stared at me like I was the creature from the black lagoon.

Seriously--it was a fucking gym. They could at least try to break a sweat.

I scowled at them and they immediately broke out into gossipy whispers, which was irritating.

I snapped.

“What the hell are you looking at?” I asked.

One of them, a snooty little Barbie girl with a condescending smile shook her head. “Nothing sweetheart,” she laughed. She had a familiar voice. “I’m looking at absolutely nothing. I love your outfit by the way. I heard Sesame Street isinthis year.”

“Apparently so is dressing up like a whore,” I retaliated. Perhaps that was a little harsh.

“Bitch,” the blonde said, looking aghast. She spat in my direction and then headed for the exit, her little minions hot on her heels.

Great.

Less than five hours in my new condo and I’ve already made enemies, which was the complete opposite of making new friends.

As I strolled towards the elevators, I noticed that everyone who passed me by glared at me like I was some disgusting sweaty pig. Was this what it was going to be like living here? To have judgment cast on me by these rich bastards every time I set foot outside my condo?

I entered into the elevator, which to my relief was empty.

Now, more than ever, I missed Justin and how normal I felt around him.

When the elevator doors opened again on my floor, hot tears were streaming down my sweaty face.

#

I tried texting Justin a few times throughout the week, hoping to hear from him, just to make sure he was okay.

Okay that was a lie. I missed him and his friendship.

Even though I crushed his heart, I just wanted the small glimmer of hope that one day he would speak to me again, despite me deserving nothing less than the finger from him.

I became a slave to my phone, frequently checking to see if there was a text back.

None.

I felt myself sink into depression.

Justin didn’t show up to lectures either, which was strange. He was the model of punctuality and discipline when it came to classes. If the world was burning all around us and the skies were raining blood, he’d still be sitting in his seat during lecture time.

I spent the next few days going to class, and then going straight to my condo and locking myself away from the rest of the outside world. I didn’t want anyone to see me this miserable.

Tonight, I ended up lying on my couch, watching episodes of shitty reality shows in front of a seventy-inch television while devouring an entire Hawaiian pizza.

I felt like I was going through a break up. I wondered if this was what the rest of my life was going to be like, living life in solitary like a spinster, avoiding human interaction like a plague.

I missed my dad. I missed Justin. I missed talking to someone--anyone about my day and listening to theirs in return.

I just wanted to feel like someone cared about me. That someone out there still loved me.

Tomorrow was my first date with Shadow, and unexpectedly, I was looking forward to it. I desperately needed company.

I closed my eyes and crumpled into the couch, feeling like an empty husk.

My last thoughts before I drifted to sleep were of Shadow and his beautiful eyes filled with the same overwhelming loneliness that I felt now.

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