Page 64 of Logan

“Well, not this specifically.” He sat down on the edge of his bed, crossing his legs one over the other in a way that emphasized how good his limbs looked in the boots. “This outfit was my choice. That was the point. I’ve dressed up plenty of times for other people’s pleasure, but I’ve never really chosen something simply because I like it. She suggested I pick out something that I liked and that made me feel good, as a way to… how did she put it… reclaim my agency when it comes to my sexuality.”

“And nearly kill me in the process. You know, I was joking about you being pretty enough to be used as a weapon. You didn’t need to make it literal.”

This time Clay’s laughter sounded a little more genuine. My positive reaction to his appearance seemed to help him feel more comfortable, and he was quickly gaining confidence in his flirting.

Leaning back on his arms so the lines of his body were on full display, he pointed at me with the toe of one boot.

“Looks like I’m not the only one packing a weapon.”

I was so distracted by the sight of his legs encased in red leather that I didn’t immediately notice what he was pointing at. My eyes trailed down him, from hip to toe, and only then did I follow the line of his leg toward myself.

And the very obvious tent in my pants.

Awkwardly clearing my throat, I crossed my legs in a useless effort to hide my reaction.

“Sorry. Don’t worry about that.”

“No. Don’t hide.” Clay uncrossed his legs and leaned forward so he was closer to the camera. “I’ve been working on getting more comfortable with combining the ideas of you and sex in my head. So, I don’t want to shy away from it. I want to see.”

“You want to see?” Clay’s new position with his legs uncrossed gave me an even better view of his waist and inner thighs, which caused my erection to strain even harder against my pants. There was plenty for him to see, if that’s what he wanted, but I wasn’t certain what he was asking for.

Clay didn’t seem to know either as he nervously bit at his thumbnail, then sputtered when he found himself biting velvet instead of his own skin and dropped his hand back down to his lap.

“Yeah, I want to see you.” He toyed with the top of his boots and traced the seam that ran down his inner thigh in a way that was a tease I would have thought it was intentional if I didn’t know better. “You’ve seen me undressed before. It’s not fair that I’ve never seen you. Plus, I like the idea that you find me attractive. So… Let me see you. Please?”

The coy look he sent me from under his lashes was too intentional to be an accident. Maybe he did know what he was doing and was teasing me on purpose.

I certainly wasn’t going to complain.

“All right.” I shrugged and slipped off my jacket before unbuttoning my shirt. My actions were slow, taking my time on each button so that he could stop me if it turned out I’d misinterpreted his request.

My caution was unnecessary. The moment I started undressing, Clay perked up like an eager dog. If he had a tail, it would have started wagging.

“Really? You’ll let me see?”

Removing my shirt, I tossed it aside, unconcerned with where it landed. “Were you expecting me to turn you down?”

His shy demeanor returned, and he ducked his head, but he never stopped looking me up and down. “I hoped you would agree, but I didn’t know if you’d find doing something on camera like this uncomfortable.”

Before removing my pants, I had to take my shoes off first. There was no sexy way to remove shoes, especially not ones with extra laces like mine, so I hurried through it to get them off as fast as possible.

“I told you before. We’ll do whatever makes you comfortable. Does the distance between us help since I’m not actually in the room with you?”

Still eyeing me like I was putting on a fascinating show, Clay nodded. “I think so. If you were here with me that would probably be too much, but this is easier. I can make it stop just by turning off my phone.”

With my hand on the button of my pants, I froze. “You know I would stop if you asked me to, right?”

“I know,” Clay quickly reassured me. “But just because I know something is true, doesn’t mean I feel it’s true. That’s a lot of what I’ve been working on with Doctor Coleman. Everything involving sex feels like a threat, even when I know it’s safe. That’s why this is a good starting point. The threat is minimal since you’re so far away.”

At first, I felt insulted that Clay considered me a threat, but I kept my mouth closed and breathed through my nose as I let the hurt from his words wash past me. It was one of the first things they reiterated to us when I joined the FPA, to evaluate our reactions and not let our own emotions affect the way we treated people.

It was a hard lesson to remember in the heat of the moment and required the discipline of all my years on the police force.

Clay didn’t mean to insult me. He was just explaining his mindset and he trusted me enough not to misinterpret or take it personally.

After reminding myself of this, the sting of his accusation faded, and my heart was calm once again.

“So, you want me to continue?”

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