Page 73 of Logan

There were many people at the press conference. Any one of them could have been what set Clay off. I itched under my skin with the need to find the people who hurt Clay and get rid of them, assure that they could never hurt anyone else, but I was helpless until I knew the identity of my target.

Silently, Jason and I shared a look, and I could see in his eyes the same desire that ran through my veins. When I finally began my crusade against this monster, I would have another ally.

On the bed between us, Clay stirred. Pale lashes fluttered open, revealing a familiar shade of blue that always took my breath away. His gaze was blurry, unfocused, but he quickly regained his wits when he saw Jason and I beside him.

“Fuck.”

That was it. No questions about what happened, where he was, or how he got there. Just radical acceptance of his situation, and a complete lack of surprise.

Taking a deep breath, he sat up just enough to look at Jason and I a little more directly. “I don’t suppose you’ll agree to just ignore what happened?”

Jason grabbed Clay’s hand, which sat limply on the bed. “Clay. You had a major panic attack. What…”

He didn’t bother finishing the question. All of us already knew the answer.

I grabbed Clay’s other hand.

“Who was it?”

For a moment, it looked like he was going to play dumb and pretend he had no idea what I was talking about. I could see the lies building up in his eyes. However, he deflated before he could say a word and sighed as he resigned himself to the truth.

When we first met, he would have lied to me without hesitation. Despite the situation, I couldn’t help the little spark of pride that I felt witnessing the evidence of how much he’d healed since then.

Clay didn’t meet either his brother’s eyes or mine as he picked at the tape holding his IV in place.

“I don’t know who it was. I just recognized the face. It was… it was one of the men in charge of the Bell ringers. I remember him because, every time he showed up, he always wanted to… ‘inspect the product’. Those days were some of the worst.”

He managed to peel most of the tape up, and I stopped him before he accidentally removed the IV.

Something wet landed on the back of my hand, and I looked up to see Clay crying. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen him cry, butthese tears were different. They were completely silent, and he made almost no expression at all while water fell one drop at a time from his eyes as if he were leaking.

“Sorry.” Clay wiped the tears away and shook himself, banishing whatever memories had risen behind his eyes. “The worst part wasn’t his visits. It was the anticipation. We always knew when the ‘special guest’ was coming because our keepers would start treating us extra well during the days leading up, to make sure we were in good condition. We would know he was coming, but we wouldn’t know when.”

My heart stuttered, like someone had reached into my chest and squeezed, as another piece of Clay’s puzzle fell into place. For years, being treated well was a warning that more suffering was coming. It was no wonder he struggled so hard to trust people and accept kindness.

If I were him, I don’t think I’d ever be able to trust anyone again. The fact that he could was a testament to Clay’s strength.

In that moment, I would have fallen in love with him if I wasn’t already.

I wished that I could end the conversation there and let the memories fade away, but I couldn’t. Hating myself for what I was about to do, I pulled out my phone and started searching for the press conference that had aired earlier.

“Clay, I hate asking this of you, but?—”

He cut me off by placing a hand on my knee.

“You need me to identify him.”

“Now hold on.” Jason stood from his seat, puffing up like he was about to storm around the bed and attack me. “Clay passedout just from seeing this person’s face. You can’t make him go through that again. Not after he just woke up.”

Clay tugged at Jason’s sleeve, urging his brother to sit back down.

“Jason. It’s okay. I get it. In fact, I think… I think I want to do it.”

Jason sat down slowly, though he was still glaring at me.

“Really? You’re not just saying that. You know, you aren’t obligated to put yourself at risk.”

Clay’s hair was a mess, and it became even more tangled as he rapidly shook his head. “No. I want to. No one… no one else should have to go through what I did. I if I can help put a stop to it, then I want to do it.”

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