Page 59 of Logan

Barely an hour ago I’d been scolding myself for daring to think of Logan in a romantic way, but that had been when we were on the ground. So far away from the rest of the world, all the things I’d been worried about seemed like they no longer mattered.

Gathering up my courage, I reached out and pulled his hands away from his face.

“I’d like it if you meant it.” My cheeks were so flushed with embarrassment, I could feel heat radiating from them, but I pressed on. “I’d like it a lot.”

His fingers slid between my own, one at a time like he was slowly weaving us together.

“Don’t tell me that. You have no idea how hard it is being this close to you without kissing you. Fuck. I wanted to kiss you the first night we met, but I knew that wouldn’t be appropriate.”

I leaned forward until our foreheads touched. It was closer than we’d ever been before, but we still didn’t cross that final line.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t have responded well to that when we first met. Or, I’d have just assumed you were the same as everyone else and demanded that you pay for it.”

I’d meant it as a joke, but the harsh reminder I’d just given myself made me jerk away from him.

For one precious moment, I’d forgotten my own past, but reality slammed back into me with the force of a sledgehammer against my brain.

“No. You can’t mean this.”

Logan let me pull back, but also refused to let go. He ended up leaning into my side of the cockpit, so he was awkwardly bent over the center armrest.

“Yes, I do mean it.”

“Well, you shouldn’t.” I pressed against his shoulder but couldn’t bear to truly shove him away. “You shouldn’t want me. You deserve so much better. I can’t give you any of my firsts. They’ve already been taken.”

I was shouting now, but I couldn’t stop. I gripped his shirt in a tight fist, pulling him closer. The thought of him leaving terrified me, even as I argued for that very outcome.

“You wouldn’t be my first. You wouldn’t even be my hundredth. I have nothing to offer you, and you deserve someone who can give you everything.”

With every word I spoke, I pulled him closer until we were practically breathing the same air. My whole body trembled as Logan slowly raised his hands to cup either side of my face.

“I don’t need everything. I just need you, because you are everything. Forget about society’s stupid purity culture. It doesn’t mean anything. Virginity is a made-up concept, anyway. Just answer me one question. Do you want to be with me?”

I nodded.

Of course I did.

What other answer could I give?

“Do you want me to kiss you?”

I nodded again.

“Then that’s all that matters.”

I opened my mouth to argue but found myself silenced when his lips pressed against mine.

It was a soft kiss. In my experience, kissing had always been rough and unpleasant, mostly focused on taking rather than giving, and often involved the use of more teeth than I was comfortable with.

This kiss was soft, and so different than what I’d known that I couldn’t help melting against Logan with a pleased sigh.

Maybe I still had a few firsts to give him. Kissing Logan felt like nothing I’d ever experienced before, to the point that I wouldn’t even dare put it in the same category of the kisses I’d been subjected to in the past.

I needed a new word. Logan’s kiss, which filled me with such a sense of elation and seemed to tickle my very soul, deserved a name all its own.

We kissed until we ran out of air, then pulled back just enough to take a breath before kissing again. It would have gone on indefinitely if a beeping from the plane’s controls hadn’t caught our attention.

Logan returned to his place properly in the pilot’s seat and took control of the plane again. Even just a few inches of space between us felt like too much. So, I hugged his arm against myself and curled up at his side as we continued on our flight, sneaking more, brief kisses every now and then.

---