Page 47 of Better Left Unsaid

I gave her a pointed look. “Leave it to you to squeeze in shopping before your nail appointment.”Two can play at that game.

“Whatever,” she replied. “Mine and Isabella’s appointments are after yours and Perla’s anyway, so I don’t see the big deal. In fact”—she checked her phone—“we can make it back here in time if we leave now.” She stood up and held her hand out. “Come on, Peanut. Let’s give my credit card a workout.”

“Bye, Mommy,” she called over her shoulder, and I returned it before she was out of sight.

Perla gushed. “She is so precious.”

I nodded and went back to perusing the magazine as she took a seat beside me on the sofa. “What do you think about putting the header in the bottom right-hand side of the page? We need a bold, innovative layout idea. Something that says we’re evolving and for the better.”

She swayed her head back and forth. “It’s not bad.”

When silence fell upon us again, Perla sighed, turning toward me completely and setting her hands in her lap. “Okay, I tried to ignore it, but I have to ask. Why isn’t Jade here?” Because she wasn’t. Was that a good enough answer? “I know Allie couldn’t make it, but you didn’t even invite Jade.”

I shrugged. “I invited her to Isabella’s dance recital.”

“And that was great, but come on, we basically forced your hand. Shouldn’t she be invited to the little things we do, too? Like getting our nails done? She is our sister, half or otherwise.”

Where was the nail tech when I needed her? “I had breakfast with her recently, so can we just drop this?” No one understood my position thus far, so it seemed unlikely Perla was going to understand me now.

“Usually I would say yes, but something’s got to give. Bianca and I eventually came around to accepting her. We all know Allie did. So why can’t you?”

Dropping the magazine I was holding on the table with a thud, I exhaled deeply and tossed my hands in the air, coming to stand as I blurted out, “Because every time I look at her I see Mom, okay?” Then I looked around and tried to rein it in since we were in a public setting. Yet another reason why I didn’t want to push this.

Perla shook her head, rolling her lips. “That’s the same with us, though. We all have a piece of her.”

“It’s not the same.” Ugh, I wanted to pull my hair out. “With Jade, it’s different.” I turned to face any direction but Perla.

“Why?”

Spinning back on my heel, it was becoming increasingly obvious this wasn’t going to end. “Because Mom shouldn’t have hidden her from us.” I collapsed again, sitting next to her, my face falling in my hands. “It would’ve been easier if we at least knew about her. Or she was in our life in some capacity.”

Perla peeled my hands from my face and looked at me closely. “Maria, see it from Mom’s perspective.”

Shaking my head, I looked away. “I’ve tried, and I just don’t understand how she could have done it. She’s our mom. I trusted her. In a way, she broke that trust.”

“She’s gone. You have to let this go.” Perla tried to take my hands in hers, but I didn’t let her. “Some things will always be unanswered.”

“Don’t you think I get that? But I can’t help how I feel. Frankly, Jade is lovely. We really made progress when we met for breakfast, and I don’t hate her, but it doesn’t change the way I feel. Sure, I could forget about it for a few minutes while we talk, joke, and laugh, but then it comes crashing back down on me, and I’m mad. Not just mad. I’m pissed because every time I think about Jade or see her, I feel mad at Mom, which I hate, so then I get angry at myself. It’s a vicious cycle, and I can’t stand it. So sometimes—most times—it’s easier for me to pretend Jade doesn’t exist. I can get along with her if I have to, isn’t that enough?”

“Sure, but honestly, Maria, you’re being a little much.” After pouring my heart out to my sister I never expected her to say that to me, and it stung like the world’s worst bitch slap.

“You’re judging me for the way I feel?” I stood again, suddenly feeling very confined in the salon.

“Come on. You have to see it, too.”

I needed to get out of here. I looked at my watch and realized our tech was seriously (almost unforgivably) late for our appointments. “Honestly, Perla, I love you, and I wanted to hang out, but I’d rather be anywhere else at this moment.” I picked up my purse and retrieved my phone.

“Maria.”

“Please tell my nail tech, if she ever comes out to get me, I got sick and had to leave. It’s certainly true.”

“What about Isabella? She wants to get her nails done. Bibi or I can drop her off when we’re done.”

“She’s having dinner with Dad tonight. He asked to take her out.”

“I’ll bring her there then.”

“Great.” I turned to leave, my hand just a fraction from the door so I could push it open and get the hell out of here.

---