Page 46 of Trust No One

He tightened his arms around her, and she felt his heart trying to beat its way out of his chest. “Are you sure, Mel? You sure this is what you want.”

“I’m positive, Dev.” She touched his mouth, and memories surged through her. Just like when she and Dev were together, nothing else existed. Only Dev, and the pleasure he gave her.

And the pleasure she gave him. She gripped Dev more tightly, needing to hold him close. Needing him to erase everything but the feel of his hard body against hers. The grip of his hands on her shoulders. The press of his chest against hers.

She needed Dev to help her replace the memories of Kingsley shooting Larrimore, of Larrimore crumbling to the ground, laying there immobile as blood leaked out of his chest. She needed different memories of today. Memories that would erase those horrible images burned into her brain.

Dev was the only one who could erase everything from her mind. Leave only the sensation of his hands sweeping over her. His mouth fused to hers. His hard body against her softer one.

What was she doing?

She sucked in a breath, her fingers freezing on Dev’s arm. Slowly she opened her hands, let them drop to her sides. She took a step back from him. “I’m sorry, Dev. I don’t want to use you,” she said, her mouth quivering. “I drew the line, and I shouldn’t cross it now. That wouldn’t be fair. I can’t say we’re over, then reach for you when I have a bad day.”

He grabbed her hands before she could back away further. “A bad day?” he said, gripping her hands tightly. The heat from his palms, the strength in his fingers, were a lifeline, and she clung to him.

“Is that what you call it?” He pulled her back against him, and the press of his solid body against hers, his strength, his hard muscles, somehow quieted the storm inside her. Made her want to fall into his arms.

“Mel, you watched a man die,” he murmured against her hair. “Murdered in front of you. I call that a total nightmare.” He kept one arm around her, but shoved his other hand through her hair, combing his fingers gently through her curls. Away from her face, as if he needed to see her more fully. He’d always done that when she was upset, and it had calmed her. Settled her.

Dev knew her so well.

“You know damn well I still want you,” he murmured against her cheek. “Nothing has changed for me. I know… I know I couldn’t give you what you needed in Kabul, and that’s something I’ll always regret. But Icangive you this. I can take you somewhere else, at least for a little while.” He stroked her hair, tucked a curl behind her ear. Leaned in and pressed his mouth to the place on her neck where the curl had hung.

“You took the first step. You turned to me. Reached for me. Don’t chicken out now, babe. Don’t get all up in your head, thinking you made a mistake. Thinking you’re taking advantage of me.”

She stilled in his arms, shocked that he’d read her mind.

Maybe not so shocked. They’d read each other’s minds when they were together. She’d always known what Dev needed. And he’d known the same about her. He’d always had just the right words to settle her.

His mouth curved against her throat as he nibbled on her ear, and desire heated her blood.

The ache for Dev, the one that was never far from the surface, spread through her body like warm butter on hot toast. Melting into every pore of her skin.

“It’s your call, Mel,” he said, his hand stroking down her back, sliding over her hip, over and over, a hypnotic spell that she couldn’t resist. “I can just hold you until you’ve settled. And if you want more, I’ll give you that, too.”

As hard as she’d tried, she’d never been able to resist Dev. Even when she was angry and hurt, she still wanted him.

He nipped at her ear, and she shivered against his mouth. “Do you want to make love with me, Mel?”

God help her, but she did. She needed that connection right now. Needed to know she was still alive, and not lying on the ground in Rock Creek Park. So she nodded.

He cupped her face in his hands. Stared into her eyes. “I need the words, babe. I don’t want to assume anything. Tell me what you want.”

She should have known Dev wouldn’t let her get away with half-assing it.

She took a deep breath. “I want you, Dev. Every way I can have you. I don’t want to think of anything but you for the rest of this afternoon. Maybe that makes me shallow. I know it makes me a hypocrite. But I don’t care. When I think about today, I want to see your face, not Larrimore’s. Or Kingsley’s.”

His mouth curled in a slow smile that made Mel shiver. She’d seen that smile before, and knew what came after it. The last time Dev had smiled at her like that, she’d been boneless for the rest of the day.

He pulled her plain gray sweatshirt over her head and tossed it away. Then he began pushing the buttons of her blouse through their tiny holes.

He slid them through one by one, stopping to press a kiss to the skin each button revealed. By the time he’d unbuttoned the last one, she was shaking. Gripping his arms to stay upright. She wanted to beg him for more but knew that would only make him go more slowly.

“You’re not going to beg, Mel?” he murmured in her ear, his breath raising goosebumps on her arms and making the hairs behind her ear flutter.

She turned and pressed her mouth against his neck. “I know what will happen if I beg,” she whispered. “Nothing that either of us want.”

He smiled, his breath fluttering against her skin, and she shivered. “You know me too well, babe.” He eased the shirt off one shoulder, then pressed a kiss to her right breast. Did the same with the left shoulder, then her left breast. “This bra needs to go,” he said, pressing a kiss between her breasts. “What do you think?”

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