Page 50 of No Reason to Trust

“Is that what you were expecting?” Livvy demanded. “That I’d hang around D.C. with you for my ten days?”

Jake held her gaze and slowly shook his head. “I have no expectations where you’re concerned, Livvy,” he said. “I had hopes, but those were mine. Nothing that I’m expecting of you.” He smiled, and the sadness on his face made Livvy want to cry. “I thought we had this evening and this night, but clearly we don’t.”

Jake retreated to the couch and pulled out his phone. Began scrolling through it, and Livvy wanted to cry. Throw herself at Jake and apologize. Kiss him until they were tangled on the bed together again.

But if she did that, she’d be lost. She’d want to spend every moment with Jake, and that made her no better than her mother.

So she picked up her own phone and began scrolling through it. After a while, she stopped and looked up at Jake. But he was engrossed in the content of his own phone. Either that, or he was ignoring her. Protecting himself? Probably.

Jake stared at her, his eyes carefully blank. “TV?” he asked. “Or do you just want to read?”

“Sure,” she said.

“I don’t know sure,” he answered. “I know yes or no.”

Cold rippled across her body. She swallowed and said, “I guess I’ll just read.”

“Works for me.” He sprawled on the couch with his phone, not looking at her. Eventually, she went into the bathroom and got ready for bed. When she was ready, she came out and said, “You should sleep on the other bed.” Just as he’d done the night before.

He didn’t even look at her. “I’m fine. I’ll move to the bed when I’m ready to sleep.” He sucked in a breath. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

He walked into the bathroom, and when he came out, she pretended she was asleep. But she lay on the bed, aching for him, until well after Jake’s breathing had evened out and slowed.

Chapter 19

Jake stared at the ceiling, aware of the ribs in the mattress pressing against his back. He could blame them for keeping him awake, but it wasn’t the lumpy mattress. It was Livvy and the way she’d pulled away from him. The way she’d shut him down, refusing to even talk it out with him. She’d gone from loving and cuddly to throwing up a brick wall between them, and she hadn’t even explained why.

He rolled onto his side and punched his pillow with a vicious blow. If it had been an opponent, he’d have been unconscious on the floor. He glanced at the other bed. Livvy appeared to be sound asleep. But as he studied her he realized that she was faking sleep. Her fingers twitched on her pillow, and her eyes moved beneath her lids. Livvy wasn’t sleeping, either.

The realization gave him a little hope. Maybe tomorrow she’d be willing to talk about this. At least give him a reason she was shutting him down. He stared at the sprinkler heads on the ceiling. There’d been a spark between them even before she left the FBI. Was that spark what triggered her resignation? He hoped not. He hoped she hadn’t quit a job she clearly loved because of him.

As he stared at the plain white tiles and the sprinkler heads on the ceiling, he realized he couldn’t force her to get involved with him. Couldn’t force her to tell him why she was backing away. He couldn’t even stop her from getting on that plane back to Helena. Livvy was an adult and in charge of her own life. And if she didn’t want to get involved with him? That was her decision and he couldn’t force her to change her mind.

He closed his eyes and rolled over. Opened them again when he heard Livvy snuffle in the bed that was only a few feet away. He wanted to climb into that bed with her. Draw her against him and hold her while she slept. But he didn’t have that right. Couldn’t force Livvy to do what he wanted.

Flopping onto his back, he let his gaze travel around the room. Finally he closed his eyes, trying to force himself to fall asleep. He’d be driving back to Washington tomorrow, and if he didn’t get any sleep, he’d be a danger on the road. So he closed his eyes. Ran through everything that had happened since they’d arrived in Brooklyn, looking for hints of what he could have done better with Alexei and his crew.

The answer, he realized, was nothing. Nelson had sent him to Alexei to be murdered. They’d failed, because he was still alive. But at least they’d confirmed Nelson and Windsor were working with the Bratva. When he returned to Washington, he’d work on figuring out who Nelson and Windsor reported to. Diana might have some ideas about that. He wished Livvy was still an FBI agent, because he trusted her. Knew she wasn’t a mole. But Livvy had to return to Helena and her job with Blackhawk Security. She wouldn’t be there to back him up.

So he’d figure it out on his own.

Finally, after tossing and turning for far too long, he fell into a restless sleep. When he heard Livvy moving around the room, he opened his eyes. She’d opened the curtains, and it was daylight. Time to pack up and head back to Washington.

He grabbed his pants from the coffee table and found a clean shirt in his luggage. Took both of them into the bathroom.

When he emerged after a shower, Livvy had thrown the duvet over her bed and was sitting against the backboard. He nodded to her. “Morning, Livvy,” he said as he walked back to the couch.

“Morning, Jake,” she replied, her voice tentative and soft.

He frowned. Swiveled to face her. “You afraid I’m pissed off at you?” he asked.

She held his gaze for a long moment, then looked away. “I’d be pissed if you’d done that to me.”

“I’m not pissed,” he said with a sigh. He turned his back on her and started to pack his suitcase. “What I am is sad. I have… feelings for you, Olivia. And I suspect you have feelings for me, too. But you’re more interested in running away than trying to work things out. I never thought you were a coward, but I guess I was wrong.”

“Wanting something different from you doesn’t make me a coward,” she said.

“Refusing to acknowledge how you feel makes you a coward,” he shot back. Before she could answer, he held up his hand. Turned to face her. “You don’t have to answer me,” he said. “Don’t have to tell me why you’re so freaked out. That’s your business, and I don’t have the right to force you to talk to me. But maybe you need to think about it yourself. Maybe you need to figure out what you want. How to get it.”

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