Page 63 of No Reason to Trust

She stared at his chest. “Do you even care why I’m a neurotic mess? What’s the point of baring my soul? So that I can cry all the way back to Montana?”

“Huh,” he said. “Dramatic much, Livvy?”

His words were like a slap in the face, and she couldn’t stop the tears that poured from her eyes. “No,” she managed to say. “I’m never dramatic. Never let anyone see my messy, ugly emotions. You’re just the lucky guy who got the blowback.” She darted around him and hurried for the door. “Goodbye, Jake. Whatever you think, I really do love you.”

His hands clamped on her shoulders, but they were gentle. Soft. “Then why are you running away? Why won’t you stay and fight for me?”

“Because I see no signs that you want me to stay,” she said, staring at her shoes. “That you want me to fight for you.”

“And that’s gonna stop you?” He turned her around so she faced him. “You give up awfully easily, Livvy. I was gonna fly to Helena after you ran away from me,” he said. “Hunt you down and make you talk to me. But I got busy at work. Diana had Nelson and Windsor arrested, and she wanted my help unraveling who they’re working for.” He shrugged. “As soon as she identifies for certain the other Russian moles in the Bureau, I was gonna be on a plane to Helena.”

He took her hand and led her back to the couch. This time, he eased her down, then sat down right beside her. Tucked her against his side and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Tell me why you’ve never allowed yourself to fall in love before.”

She couldn’t look at him. She didn’t want him to see the hope in her eyes. The longing for him that she couldn’t hide anymore.

His hand tightened around her shoulder. “Tell me, Livvy,” he said, and his voice was tender.

“It’s an ugly story,” she said.

“It has to be, if you’ve never allowed yourself to fall in love before now.”

She swallowed hard, then told him about her mother. About the revolving door of lovers she’d had. How things had never worked out, and how her mother fell apart every time. The tantrums. The pouting in her bedroom. The way Livvy had to make their meals. Cajole her mother into eating. And then the ugly cycle would start all over again. She’d meet someone new, he’d stick around for a few months, then leave, and Olivia would have to deal with the tantrums and sulking all over again.

Even though she hadn’t been able to look him in the eye, Livvy knew he’d been watching her as she bared her soul. His gaze had burned her skin with its intensity. “God, Livvy, I’m so sorry,” he finally said. “That’s no way for a kid to grow up.” He drew in a deep, shuddering breath. “It’s shocking that you aren’t more screwed up than you are. Shocking that you’re able to live a relatively normal life.”

She turned toward him but couldn’t bring herself to meet his gaze. She wasn’t sure she wanted to see his face. “Normal except for the fact that I’ve never allowed myself to fall in love. Never allowed myself to have a… a real, growing relationship with a man.”

“Until now,” Jake said.

She looked up at him, stared into his eyes. Nodded slowly. “Yeah,” she said. “Until now.” She reached up and stroked her finger over his lips. Then pressed her mouth to his. Savored his taste, the essence of Jake she’d missed every minute since that night in the hotel room. “Until you. I want that with you, Jake. More than anything.”

For a long moment, Jake didn’t move. He sat beside her, still as a statue. His eyes were mirrors that let nothing out. His face was expressionless. He was hiding himself, just like she’d always done.

Before she could point that out, he yanked her into his arms. Pressed kisses all over her face. When she kissed him back just as frantically, he moved her into his arms and stood up. Carried her into his dim, shadowed bedroom where the bed wasn’t made and only a few rays of light penetrated the almost completely closed curtains.

He paused next to the side of the bed. “Is this okay, Livvy? Do you want to be in this bed with me?”

“That’s all I’ve wanted since that night at the hotel,” she said into his neck. “All I’ve thought about since I drove away from you.”

“You sure?” he asked.

“More sure than I’ve ever been about anything.” She lifted to press a kiss to his mouth, and when he kissed her back, she groaned with the rightness of it. With the need that roared through her like a raging forest fire.

When he set her on the bed, she reached for his hand. Tried to tug him down beside her. But he stepped away, out of her reach, and stripped off his clothes. Tossed them onto the floor, then crawled onto the bed until he was beside her.

“You’re a little over-dressed,” he murmured into her ear, tugging at the lobe with his teeth. Then pressed a kiss over the small teeth marks. “But that’s okay. I want to undress you. Kiss every inch of your amazing body. I want to make you squirm. Cry my name. Come at least ten times.”

“Ten times?” she traced his face with her fingers. Brushed her fingertips over his soft lips. “Is that even possible?”

He smoothed her hair away from her face. “We’ll find out, won’t we?” He ran his hand over her body and frowned. “We have to take care of this clothing situation,” he murmured, tugging at the buttons of her blouse. “Let’s fix that.”

With his mouth on hers, he shoved the buttons through the buttonholes. Then he stripped the shirt from her shoulders. It joined his clothes on the floor.

Then he undid the front clasp of her bra. The cups fell to the side, baring her breasts to him. He smoothed his fingers over first one, then the other, his touch light. Delicate.

She squirmed beneath him, wanting more. Finally said, “Jake, I need more. I need my clothes off. I want you inside me.”

His mouth curved, but he didn’t stop kissing her breasts. Sucking on the sensitive nipples. “Don’t worry, darlin’. We’ll get to that. I’m busy right now.”

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