Page 85 of Silence and Surrender

“How...” I had to clear my throat. “How far along?”

“Five, maybe six weeks.” Her voice was small, strangled. “I can’t be sure because of...” She couldn’t finish.

This baby wasn’t mine.

The thought devastated me. I was more upset by that fact than finding out she was pregnant. But I had to push that aside. I had to be there for her.

Whatever you need,” I said finally, pulling her close though my own hands shook. “Whatever you want to do. I’m here.”

But as I sat there, with Isabella shaking beside me, I stared at the horizon and faced the hardest question: Could I love a child born of violence? Could I look at that innocent face every day and not see the monsters who hurt her?

The answer came with surprising clarity: Yes. Because it would be part of her. And I loved every part of Isabella, even the broken pieces.

I held out my arms, and she collapsed against me, sobbing. “Hush, sweetheart,” I whispered, stroking her beautiful raven hair. “I’ll take care of you. Whatever you want to do.”

She looked back up at me, tears glistening. “What if it’s not yours, Colton?”

I didn’t think it was. It couldn’t be. The likelihood was too small. I’d only been with her once unprotected. Who knows how many men had—I couldn’t even think of it without wanting to drink myself into oblivion.

But I had to reassure her. “I’m not going anywhere.”

That made her cry harder, so I picked her up in my arms, carrying her to our borrowed bedroom. I placed her on the sheets, then crawled in behind her, holding her in my arms. She didn’t say another word, just sobbed until she eventually fell asleep.

After an hour, I calmly untangled myself and headed for the kitchen. She needed to eat and drink…especially since she was carrying a baby.

My mind tried to wrap around it. What if she wanted it? What if I had to raise a baby that was half her, half her rapist’s?

But it was part of her. I couldn’t hate anything that was hers.

I had just opened the refrigerator when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, Colton.” Cooper’s eyes were heavy, the heaviest I’d seen them in years.

“You know?”

“Allegra told me as soon as she saw Isabella and you on the terrace.”

I nodded, not upset that Allegra had known before me. I was glad my sister-in-law was there for Isabella.

“This isn’t the way it’s supposed to happen, Colton. When your woman’s pregnant...” His sentence drifted off, like he didn’t want to remind me of that joyful Christmas when Allegra had announced she was carrying his child. Cooper rubbed his jaw, finally continuing. “But…at least she’s alive.”

I was silent. I wished I could take her place, wished it would have been me that was used and abused. Not her.

“I don’t even know if she’s my woman. But yeah, at least she’s alive.”

It was all I could say. I grabbed a bottle of water and some grapes and headed to our room. I could feel Cooper’s eyes, heavy on my back. I could feel his sorrow, I could feel how upset he was. I’d never much thought about us being twins, but at this moment, the connection was too great, and he seemed to be feeling exactly what I was.

I opened the door, watching Isabella. Her perfect mouth was partially open, and she was sleeping deeply. I didn’t want to wake her up, so I crawled back in next to her, putting the water and grapes on the nightstand, and then pulled her towards my chest. Towards whatever comfort I could offer her.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Isabella

I woke to find Colton’s arms around me, his steady breathing warming my neck. The memories of last night flooded back…my confession, his immediate acceptance, the way he’d held me while I cried.

The grapes and water on the nightstand made something in my heart swell. Even now, he was taking care of me. Of us.

Of the baby that might not be his.

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