Page 181 of Love, Rekindled

Without hesitation, she moves past the foot of my dad’s bed and launches herself into my arms. Calliope presses her face into my chest, and I can feel her body shake as she cries, mourning the loss of my father and perhaps expelling her grief for me as well.

She shifts, tipping her head back. “I’m so sorry he’s gone, Rafe. And also...I love you very much.”

CHAPTER 14

Calliope

Rafe doesn’t say,“I love you” back, but that’s okay. I didn’t expect him to.

Don’t need him to.

Just like when he first told me he loved me while pushing me on the tire swing and he knew the truth of how I felt in return already. Like then, I’m confident in how he feels now. Even though it took me a few days to voice it to him—to work up the courage and the guts to admit my feelings aloud—I never once worried that he would waver or decide I wasn’t worth waiting for. I had faith in him, still do, and that says a lot.

Currently, I’m sitting at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of tea while Rafe and Brenda sit by Jim’s bed. I called the hospice nurse, and she came out to the house right away. As required by law, she verified that Jim did, in fact, pass on, and she made the call to the funeral home the family chose. She then collected the remaining narcotic pain medications—as also required by law—to dispose of them for the family.

Once she finishes, Brenda, Rafe, and I spend time talking quietly. Brenda and I hug frequently, and she cries most of the time. Periodically, Rafe slides his hand against mine until our fingers are laced, and that’s enough for the moment.

The funeral home folks arrive. Brenda has to sign a bunch of paperwork, and I stand by Rafe’s side as they discreetly place a blanket over Jim’s body and move him to a gurney that will be placed directly in the hearse. Brenda, Rafe, and I follow them out of the house. We stand quietly on the porch, our arms around each other’s waists, and watch as they load Jim up into the back of the funeral home’s vehicle.

After they leave, there’s no time to sit around. I make calls to my parents, and then I help Brenda make calls to their family members. Rafe calls his coach to tell him that he won’t be there for the game tonight. It was a call the team had likely been expecting at some point, and I imagine there are plans in place to compensate. Jim had tried to get Rafe to promise him that he wouldn’t miss a game no matter what, and Rafe had sternly but gently told his father that it wasn’t his decision to make.

I know Rafe, though. There’s no way he’d ever leave his mother’s side on the day his father passed.

Eventually, Brenda moves off to her room to take a shower since we expect the house will start filling with well-wishers shortly. With that thought, I rush out of the house without even taking the time to put on a bra and tell Rafe I need to go back to my apartment to take a shower as well.

I promise to come back immediately.

He walks me to my car, our fingers laced. I can feel the gravity of the situation, and the hunch to his shoulders tells me all I need to know.

He opens the car door for me, and when I move to get in, he holds me back with a tug on my hand. My eyes move to his, and I note his head tilted as if he’s curious about something. “Did you really feel something was wrong and that you needed to be here?”

I smile back at him. Over three hours ago, I had woken up in a panic, feeling an immense blanket of grief hit me. I’m not sure if I knew that Jim had died and that Rafe had found him, or if it was just an all-consuming need for me to be truthful with Rafe about how I really felt about him.

“I can’t explain it. I just felt that it was urgent that I get here.”

He nods, seeming to understand something that frankly seems implausible to me.

“And you love me?” he asks, his fingers tightening on mine.

I wondered when he’d finally address what I said to him. I’m not sure how much of a surprise it was, as he seemed pretty confident that I’d come around. He’d boldly told me he’d wait for me to come to the right conclusion, and well...here I am.

“I know the timing couldn’t be worse,” I say apologetically as I step in closer to him. “But yes...I do love you. I can’t say I carried a torch for you all these years unless you count the type that I’d use to burn your house down, but I do know one thing...what you did was forgivable. I just had to accept that.”

“So no more of this silly friends with benefits thing?” he presses, putting both palms on my hips.

My hands go to his shoulders, and I give him a sly smile. “I didn’t say that. I mean, we are still friends—the best of—and there are many, many benefits between us. But I also know there is so much more.”

I rise to my tiptoes and whisper before I kiss him, “So much more.”

Rafe’s eyes mist up, his mouth drawing down. His voice is heavy as he admits, “I’m so glad you’re by my side right now. I miss my dad, and I’m not sure how to navigate this world without him in it.”

“One step at a time,” I assure him. “And I’ll be right here along the way.”

He murmurs words of promise to me—I love you—and then his mouth is on mine, giving me the most tender and binding kiss a woman could have the privilege of receiving.

“I love you,” I assure him once again. I imagine I’ll be saying it a lot because he needs to hear it, and well...so do I. They’re the best words, after all, and they represent the good in our world. “We were given a second chance.”

“I was given a second chance,” he insists.

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