Page 53 of Love, Rekindled

I look at my coat sitting on the chair, the pocket that’s currently holding the list. I carry it with me everywhere. If I ever need to edit, it’s always with me.

Suddenly, Ben’s hands reach for the coat.

“Shit!” I yell but he already has it out.

“Get married by thirty-three.“ He turns to me with a raised brow. “You missed that one.”

“It’s a fluid list. The timeline isn’t the point, it’s the goals.”

I want to crawl in a hole right now.

He rolls his eyes and goes back to it. “Make partner by thirty-five. Have first child by thirty-six.” He grins. “I figured this would’ve been swapped that you’d want the kid before partner.”

My eyes narrow. “Could you do this without the commentary?”

“Not likely.”

“Of course not.”

“Second child within two years. Fit back in pre-pregnancy jeans three months after that.” Ben’s eyes meet mine. “Really? You’re worried about your jeans enough to put it on your list?”

“Don’t judge me.”

“I’m just saying that your ass will look good no matter what.”

I try not to blush. “Oh, well, thanks.”

“Welcome.”

“Give me the list back.”

He smiles. “I’m not done yet.”

“I hate you.”

Ben’s eyes return to the paper. “Try a federal case and make headlines and rule the world.” He reads aloud and my cheeks burn.

I forgot about the rule the world part. The rest is all accurate. Except that now none of that will actually happen. I snatch the list from his hand. “Jerkface.”

“Gretch, you can’t really think that living your life by some list is going to be what makes you happy.”

“Yes, I can. If it all worked out, I would’ve been on track. I would’ve followed the plan, albeit a little delayed, but the list is the list.”

“That’s not happy,” he says with his brown eyes piercing through me.

Happiness isn’t what I take stock in. I don’t need to be happy. I need order and for things to work the right way.

“It’s what made sense.”

“Plans are just that...a plan. They’re not gospel and they sure as hell don’t account for detours. You can’t tell me that you wanted to have your plan met and your heart neglected.”

No, can’t say that it’s what I wanted, but that’s exactly what I was going to do.

Ben is so close, our bodies having somehow inched closer and closer. Our breaths mingle as we continue to speak, pull toward each other without even meaning to.

A knock on the door causes me to jump. Natalie is standing there with a shit eating grin on her face. “Sorry to interrupt, but there’s a call you should take, Ben.”

“I’ll be right back and we’ll finish this.”

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