Gretchen
I hear the words,see his mouth move, but I don’t know how to take them in.
“What are you saying?”
Ben starts to lower his mouth to mine. “I’m saying that I want you. I want to love you. I want you to give us a chance and I want you to let me.”
“For how long?” I ask the question because I need to steel myself. “If it’s only for tonight, just tell me.”
He shakes his head, his nose grazing mine. “Not just tonight, Gretchen. But I won’t make you promises until I knowI’mworthy of you. I will never lie to you or make you question how I feel.”
“Why do you think you’re unworthy?” My voice is soft and barely audible.
“Because you’re not the only one who is broken.”
My heart beats against my ribs, loud and full of so many things. I don’t know what this means, but I know that Ben will catch me if I fall. He won’t lie or treat me with disregard. He’s strong enough to accept me for who I am.
I reach my hand up, grazing the scruff on his face. “You’re not broken.”
His hand grips my wrist, bringing it to his lips, pressing a kiss right where my pulse is. “That’s where you’re wrong, but you might just be healing me.”
I lift up on my toes, bringing our lips together in the softest kiss, but still filled with so much emotion I could cry. His hands wrap around my waist and then I’m flush against him.
My mouth opens and our sweet kiss is gone. Now it’s passionate as both of us push the other for power. His tongue duels with mine.
It’s everything.
It’s a battle of wins and losses but I don’t care which side I’m on because neither is really a loser. He kisses me as though he can’t possibly get enough, and I match him in unbridled desire.
I break away and we both pant. “I didn’t mean to push you.”
My eyes meet his and I hope he sees the truth. “You didn’t. I just want more. I want you, all of you. I always have.”
“Gretchen.” My name falls from his lips as both a prayer and a curse.
“Please. I want you to make love to me, Ben.” I kiss him before he can deny me. “I want you to show me what I’ve been missing. Show me.”
I stand here, more exposed than I’ve ever been. My clothes may be on, but my soul is exposed for him. I want him.
“Fuck,” he groans and then our mouths are on each other.
Our hands explore each other, mine grazing over his massive chest, feeling each of the planes and ridges. We start to move and then my back hits the wall. He uses his size to dominate me, and I love every second.
Kissing him has become my new favorite thing.
My fingers dig into his shoulders as he dives his tongue into my mouth. I swear, if he fucks anything like he kisses...I’ll be ruined.
I need to feel his skin. I want to touch him, make him feel as out of control as I do. I move to the hem of his shirt and push it up.
“Gretchen,” he moans as I try to lift the shirt, but he anchors me against the wall, giving me no room to move.
I try again, but he grips my wrists.
“I can’t,” Ben says and takes three steps back.
Shame and mortification wash over me. He doesn’t want me. I begged him and he didn’t want to go there with me.
“I’m...yeah, no, I get it. You never said...I’m stupid.” Each word stings with such sadness. I thought he wanted this as much as I did, but again, I read everything wrong.