Page 80 of Red Boar's Baby

“And then what?” Diana asked quietly. “If you try to save the whole world, there’s always more world to save. It never ends. At some point, you have to find the right balance of living for other people, and living for yourself.” She took a deep, shaky breath, preparing to talk about something she’d never spoken of to anyone. “I went the opposite way, you know. I was so afraid of—of ending up like Mom that I threw every responsibility out the window and ran off to see the world.”

“Some people would consider joining the Army a pretty responsible thing to do.”

“Maybe it was. But I was running away, not towards. I didn’t even know Mom was sick until she was pretty far gone.” Diana swallowed. She closed her eyes, afraid if she kept them open, tears would blur Costa’s sympathetic face. “Everything that happened, my folks having to sell the ranch, Mom dying—maybe it wouldn’t have happened if I’d stayed.”

Costa’s hand faltered on her hair, then went on stroking. “You can’t blame yourself for your mom getting cancer, or your folks having money problems. That would have happened whether you stayed or left.”

“I know. It doesn’t stop me feeling guilty about it, though.” She opened her eyes and blinked past a little mistiness. “I guess that’s the point. You’re right, there’s nothing I could have done about the big picture stuff. But there are things I could’ve done to be a better daughter. I could have missed fewer holidays and birthdays. I wouldn’t have spent so many Christmases in foreign parts of the world, sending cards and packages a month late. You had all of that—the Christmases, the holidays. You’ve been there for all of Jay’s birthdays. I missed nearly all of my mom’s, from the time I was eighteen until she died.”

Costa gave a little sigh and a faint smile. His hand cupped under her head, fingers buried in her hair. “I’m not going to indulge you in feeling guilty about your life choices, any more than you would for me.”

Diana huffed a soft laugh. “I guess not. But the thing is, we made completely opposite decisions, and bad things happened anyway. I feel like some things would have been better if I’d stayed, but maybe not. You think it would’ve been better if Marco hadn’t followed in your footsteps, but who knows? Bad things can happen in rural ranch country, too.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Yeah. So, we made the choices that felt best for us then. And we followed those paths as far as they’d go, wherever they led. In my case, apparently it led right back to Arizona—and to you.”

Costa leaned over and kissed her. She put a hand behind his neck, and they explored each other’s mouths for a little while. Familiar and new—the way things had always been with him. As if she had known him forever, which she had, but also with new wonders to discover around every turn.

They broke apart slowly, but kept their foreheads together, her hand on his neck and his fingers in her hair.

“And now what?” he murmured, lips nearly touching hers.

Diana had opened her mouth to reply, or maybe to kiss him again, when there was a sudden knocking on the outer cabin door.

Costa sat up. “If this is an invitation to dinner, come back later!”

“Hey, boss, it’s me,” Cat Delgado’s voice said. “They said you were up here. Are you busy?”

Costa looked down at Diana. His lips twitched. “Well, are we?” he murmured.

“I think this’ll keep,” Diana said, grinning back up at him. Her heart seemed to hum with an eager, warm energy. “But we’re just tabling the discussion, not abandoning it.”

“Deal.” He gave her a hand up, and raised his voice. “Come on in, Cat. We’re not asleep.”

It was later than Diana had realized, she discovered once she was vertical. Afternoon sunshine had given way to the warm colors of evening, painting the cabin’s interior. She wobbled a little and got her balance with Costa’s hand on her arm. They went out to the living room, where Delgado was looking around curiously.

Delgado turned swiftly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

“We were just resting.” Costa smoothed his hand through his hair. “What on earth is so important that you had to drive out here in person?”

“Something I didn’t want to trust to the phone system,” Delgado said. She shot a quick glance at Diana. “It’s not bad, I don’t want to alarm you, but—you need to come see Farley, right now.”

CHAPTER27

Sunset’s colorsbathed the ranch in warm gold and pink tones, and the air was balmy but not overly hot. Out in the pasture, Jay was working his pony in the late light, and waved to them. It was a perfect rural Arizona evening.

Costa walked so fast he was half jogging, and the women had to run to catch up.

“Why the hell won’t you just tell me?” he snapped.

“I told you it wasn’t that bad!” Delgado shot back. “I just don’t want to predispose you beforehand, that’s all.”

“You’re doing a great job of worrying me beforehand!”

They arrived in the central ranch yard. Delgado had parked here, and most of the Costa clan were gathered, blocking Costa and Diana’s view of whatever they were looking at.

“Move,” Costa growled, shoving his way between two aunts.

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