Page 26 of Smoke

11

Smoke

I hadno idea there were so many motels in existence, much less that so many of them sat outside Roanoke.

“I’ve driven this road hundreds of times,” I said as we got back in the Jeep after reaching another dead end. One of many. The sun was already finishing its descent, and we hadn’t found any trace of Alina. I climbed behind the wheel with a heavy sigh. “How have I never noticed all the motels and restaurants?”

She chuckled as she settled in beside me. “I think it’s sort of the way you guys make fun of humans for not noticing things.”

“I don’t make fun. Pierce and the others might.”

“It doesn’t matter. You know what I mean. If you’re not looking for something, you won’t see it. Like these motels. When you’re on your way to somewhere specific, the rest of the road fades into the background.”

She was right. I had never paid attention. I had no use for any of the rundown, brick or cinder block buildings with their rows of brightly colored doors and strings of cars parked along the front. I would never respond to the pull of a neon sign gleaming off the chrome-plated walls of a diner for any reason having to do with hunger.

Looking for Alina had opened a new world to me. It wasn’t a world I would’ve chosen to spend copious amounts of time in, given the choice. She was worth the visit—something I reminded myself every time we had to make conversation with a front desk clerk or waitress.

“You can’t see anything specific?” I asked, even though I had already asked at least five or six times and knew she would tell me if she had another vision.

I couldn’t stand the growing hopelessness. It made me restless, anxious, irritable. I wasn’t the most temperamental in my family by a long shot. I spent a lot of time reading and learning about us and the world around us. I preferred a game of chess to any of the video games the guys played. But that didn’t mean I was comfortable sitting around, letting life happen to me. I needed to be proactive.

Right now, being proactive meant driving for miles at a stretch, stopping to ask questions about a young, blonde woman who would most likely be traveling alone. One who looked a lot like Jasmine.

I let her do the talking whenever we approached anyone—instinct told me both men and women would respond better to a young woman looking for another young woman she claimed was her sister than they would to me. A tall, muscular, deep-voiced man might not fare as well.

There would be inevitable questions of why the girl ran away and why I wanted her back. Those questions would color any response I received.

Jasmine closed her eyes and let her head rest against the vinyl seat.

I knew enough by now to leave her alone while she was reaching out for something to grab onto.

“It’s like looking through a cloud of smoke,” she had explained early in our trip. “I’m looking as hard as I can, watching, and reaching out for anything that might pass through on the other side of the cloud.”

It was torture, staying quiet and letting her reach out or whatever it was she was doing. Especially when it hadn’t helped so far.

“She’s relaxed. For now.”

“You’re sure of that?” Did it mean she had settled in for the night? If she was staying in one spot until morning, that might make finding her much simpler.

“Definitely. I’ve picked up a very restless, uneasy feeling until now. That’s gone. She’s safe for the time being, or thinks so. I wish I could see where she is.”

“Just keep trying. I need to know where to take us next.”

She shrugged, eyes closed. “Keep driving east, I guess. We can still stop at the next place we come to.”

We had just left an area heavily populated with rest stops, gas stations, convenience stores and strip malls. The road ahead looked dark and stretched on for miles.

“I don’t know how much longer we can keep driving east before it would make sense to turn north,” I warned.

“Well, I hope I’ll have something clearer soon. Just let me think, please.”

I let her think. It was easier to drive in silence, anyway. I had always enjoyed driving alone at night, flying alone at night. By myself, with my thoughts, knowing most of the world around me was asleep.

There was a solitude in those moments that I wasn’t able to enjoy at any other time, always surrounded by my family. It was why I spent so much time in the library. I needed space to breathe, to think.

Naturally, my thoughts centered around Alina right now. She was finally settled in somewhere. How had she gotten there? How many chances had she taken? What had she seen? Did she feel hopeful, or was she dreading doing it all again the next day? I hated to imagine her tired, rumpled, feeling hopeless, but that was all that came to mind. How could she feel otherwise, all alone as she was?

Suddenly, Jasmine’s voice broke the silence. “Do you love my sister?”

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