Page 31 of Leif

He apparently put in a good word for you. Almost saved your job. So, did you meet someone finally?

A smile tugged the corners of my lips before my brain reminded me that I’d lost my job as an officer. The one thing I’d wanted to be since I was a little girl. The job I’d busted my ass to get. My childhood dream ripped away because of one stupid mistake.

Maybe. I’m going now. Give your wife a hug from me.

I put the phone down and pulled out of Leif’s grasp. We sat side by side for a few moments. “So you put in a good word for me?” I glanced over at him, warmth filling the cold void in my chest. Sure, my life was in the crapper, but I wanted to be grateful for the little things.

Like this amazing friendship—relationship—thing—whatever this was.

He lifted both shoulders. “I’m sorry it didn’t work.” The set to his shoulders told me that something was bothering him, and I ran a hand down his arm to his hand before lacing my fingers with his in his lap.

“Me, too, but I appreciate that you tried.” I ducked my head a bit, and he finally met my gaze with those golden eyes of his. “It means a lot to me that you care, that you tried to help.”

He nodded, his gaze returning to the floor.

That crushing weight on my shoulders pressed down even heavier, and I exhaled. I loved the town I lived in. I loved the town I swore to protect. I loved the people I’d come to know, cared for my brothers in blue, and cared about making a difference in the place I called home.

What would I do next?

“I don’t know what to do now.” I mean, obviously, I needed to get a job, but doing what? I had no real skills, no backup plans, no schooling that might help me out.

“What do you want to do now?” Leif’s gaze met mine, and his fingers tightened slightly around mine.

“I want to wake up from this nightmare. I want my job back.” My voice broke, and stinging hot tears traced down my cheeks.

“I know. I’m sorry.” He let my hand go and reached over to pull me into his lap. I let myself be dragged onto him and just relaxed as he began to pet my hair. “I wish I could do something.”

But it wasn’t his fault. I’d screwed up, and I had to live with that. If I could go back and take it all back, I would. I wouldn’t have transported the guy all by myself. I wouldn’t have broken the rules and ruined my whole damn life.

Or would I have anyway?

Without all the things that happened, I’d never have met Leif. Maybe I was just looking at it all wrong. Sure, I’d lost the job I loved, but I’d met a man that had been making my life better every step of the way.

Maybe it would all work out in the end. Maybe everything would happen exactly how it had to. But in the meantime, I was going to cry and try to figure out what to do next.

“I think I might move home. Back with my parents.” The thought broke my heart. It was a long drive across four states, and it would mean that I didn’t see Leif much. Or at all anymore.

His body stiffened, like my words hurt him, and I held back my tears. I didn’t like the idea, but it seemed like a good one. My family could help me get back on my feet. It’s not like I’d ask him to pay my bills or take care of me until I could get things back in order.

“I’m not really sure what else to do, you know?” I sat up, pulling out of his grasp. “I mean, I’m trying to be responsible about this and make choices even if they’re hard ones to make.”

“You don’t have to go.” He sounded bitter all of a sudden, and anger rose like a prickly round cactus in my throat.

It was easy for him to know what I should do, but it was something else entirely for me to have to do it. I was going to run out of my nest egg without a job here. I needed a way to pay for things, and my parents would help. But they’d want me closer. They already wanted me closer, but I’d been happy here in this little town.

“I think I do.” I didn’t like that he was telling me what I didn’t have to do. It was a small step from telling me what to do, and that just wouldn’t fly with me.

“I could help you, you know.” His golden eyes met mine.

I let out a snort and crossed my arms before throwing a leg over my knee. “So, you’re willing to pay my bills until I get on my feet?”

His eyebrows rose a fraction of an inch. “Yes.”

All the anger drained out of me like water out of a balloon with a pinhole leak. “Why?” It didn’t make sense.

He lifted both shoulders. “You’re important to me.” Placing both elbows on his knees, he leaned forward and laced his fingers together while I watched him in disbelief. This was crazy.

“You barely know me.” The words sounded sharper than I intended them to. He didn’t so much as wince, and I continued, some voice in my head whispering that I needed to stop, that I was crushing something before it even had a chance to bloom.

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