Page 19 of Give Me Love

“He’ll be out in a few days,” she says, reaching out and rubbing his snout. He nays, begging me to do the same, and I oblige.

This horse has won me a lot of money. I’ve never been a big rider myself. I stuck to dirt bikes when I was a moody teen, and I still ride as often as I can, here or a little outside of the city. We’ve got a few bikes in a shop along with gear and helmets. There’s good trail riding in the mountains. Jace and I have ridden all over this place.

“Let’s walk,” Emily says after we’ve spent some time with Hot Sauce.

“How’s the club?”

“Fine,” I reply as the breeze from the field licks us when we step out of the barn.

“And Jace?”

I nod. “He’s Jace.”

“Yes. I know he’s Jace, but how is he? I hope he’s calmed down some.”

I chuckle. “You know that boy is one big party.”

She sighs. “That’s what I do know.”

I don’t reply as we continue walking through the field, and she doesn’t say anything for a little while. We just enjoy each other’s company, and I think back on a time when I made her and Lee’s life a living hell.

I was a wild kid.

Hell-bent on ripping my life to shreds. I was my brother’s keeper until I came here.

And then I was selfish.

Drugs, alcohol, and trouble were my counsel. My comfort and my every day.

I was self-destructive.

I couldn’t see past my own pain that I was wanted. More so with my new future than my past. That’s until my sixteenth birthday.

I came home high and drunk off my ass. I wanted to fight. I wanted to make something bleed and tear shit apart.

Somehow Pops knew.

He knew what I needed before I did.

We fought one night. I punched, and he pushed back. He never hit me, though, and after it was all over, he slung a tired, wasted kid over his shoulder and took me outside to the barn. There were a punching bag and boxing gloves waiting for me.

“You’re pissed. I get it. You’re so mad at the world, you want to take it out on everyone around you and destroy yourself in the process,” he said as he put me down.

I slouched to the dirt floor. My mind was a fog and my heart an empty muscle.

“You’re doing a mighty fine job.” He walked back and forth before stopping and looking down at me.

“You don’t think I know?” he seethed. “You don’t think I understand this pain inside you? I know, boy. I lost my wife!” He shouted at me for the first time ever. I flinched and something broke inside of me.

“I know you didn’t choose this, but let me tell you something right now. You are given one thing when you come into this world. A name. Life doesn’t owe you anything else.

“Now, you got two choices. You can straighten the hell up, and on days you get mad, you come out here and you beat this bag until your fists turn blue. You get over it, and you man the hell up and make something out of yourself.

“Or,” he says. “You walk back into that house, pack your things, and hit the goddamn road.

“Life is giving you another chance, boy, and you better open your eyes and take hold of it, because second chances don’t come often. Trust me.”

He left me in the barn that night, and as I sat there, the dam broke and I cried like the stupid fool I’d been. I bled tears and decided right then I would no longer be the boy I once was.

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