Page 59 of Give Me Love

Two nights ago, I let her walk away, and I’ve been telling myself it’s the best thing.

She’s a weakness to me.

She changes too many things in my content life.

My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I lift up and slide it out.

“Yeah, brother?”

“Where are you?”

“The store.” I lie because Jace doesn’t know about the thing I have with our mom. In fact, he hasn’t seen her since the day of the crash. I found her five years ago, and the only person who knows is Pops because he helped me.

“You back from the ranch?”

“Fuck yeah. Wanna have some fun?” Jace asks. I think about what fun means to him. Loads of drinking and women. Kathrine crosses my mind, but we’re just friends. And maybe this will help get her out of my head.

“Yeah, I’ll meet you at the club.”

__________

My brother’s drunk and snorting thin white lines off some chick’s tits.

“Why the fuck do you keep doing that shit?” I ask, kicking his calf.

He shrugs. “I just can’t think of a reason not to. Have one. Lighten the hell up for once in your life.” The girl takes the rolled-up Benjamin from his hand and licks his finger clean after he wipes the powder off her skin.

I rub my chin and take a sip of my whiskey.

Jace leans back, rubbing his nose as he does. “Look, brother, I was the perfect motherfucker for seven of the eight years I served. I’ve done my part. I’ve seen shit that…” He stops and stares down at the floor as though his mind has taken him back. A deep wrinkle sets between his brows, and pain appears in raw form on his face.

“Is that why you did what you did?” I ask. We never talk about Jace’s time away, but I know it’s messed him up. That and our fucked-up childhood.

He blinks away bad memories and shakes his head while reaching for his beer on the table. “I just want to have a little fun for a while. Forget about some things. Okay?”

My eyes search his face for a moment and then I say, “Okay.”

High on cocaine, Jace pulls the same girl onto his lap and whispers something into her ear. She giggles, and I look in front of me.

Jace isn’t like me. He’s more carefree.

I know I’m the way I am because I have a lot of anger inside of me.

There’s a constant fire in my chest, slow burning, churning. Hitting the bag helps relieve some of that, but every now and again it slips out, reminding me of who I am and what I came from.

I lean back as lights dance around us, over our faces and across the floor. Naked women walk around, giving me lust-filled eyes. The music from the club vibrates my bones, and the alcohol relaxes me.

“You wanna play, Bryce?” One smiles and balances on my thighs as she bends her knees. Her pussy spreads when her knees part, giving me a view of everything. I lean up, surprising her. My face is close to hers. She’s beautiful, but my dick doesn’t respond.

In fact, it’s only been responding to a certain woman lately. Sadly, this isn’t helping like I hoped it would.

I look down at her lips and whisper, “You wanna be fucked?”

She scrapes her teeth over her ruby reds. I reach down, rubbing my finger between her clit. She’s wet and shivers when I enter her. A moan slips up her throat as I move my finger in a come here motion, but I don’t want her pleasure, and when her eyes close, I stop.

“How about getting me another drink?” I say, dismissing her and sitting back. Her shoulders slump, but she stands and heads to the bar. Sheer curtains are in front of the two-way glass mirror, and as the girl brings me a Scotch, I see smoky gray eyes laughing.

What is she doing here?I tip my drink back before setting it down on the table and standing.

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