Page 90 of Give Me Love

“I am happy.” I run a hand over my head and cross my ankles. I own a successful nightclub, with an even more successful gambling business below it. I have two fucking houses. Why wouldn’t I be happy? Yeah, I’m alone when I go to bed every night, but that’s my choice.

“You’re complacent. There’s a difference. Everyone gets hurt. That’s part of life. You can’t keep yourself behind those walls of yours forever.”

My eyes shoot to the floor. I forget about how well Emily and Lou know me.

“You didn’t get a fair start. I know that. But don’t let your past control your future. It’s not fair to you or anyone else trying to get in.”

My mind replays memories of a stolen childhood. It shows me images of my parents fighting and making up. I swore I’d never let someone make me weak, like my mom did my father. She turned him into a shell of a man.

I’ve kept that promise my whole life, but I’ve never met a woman likeher.Everything about Kathrine holds my interest. Her smile—when she does it—I try to remember why so I can make her do it again. When she laughs, I watch the way her head falls back, revealing her neck and chest. I love when her hair is up and little pieces fall around her face. She’s a soft glow in a dark room. She makes me wonder about the future and what it holds.

How stupid I’ve been to think I had any control after I first saw her in Red. Her presence emptied the room. I saw no one else. She’s literally walked into my life and changed everything. And God help me, I don’t want things to go back to the way they were. Even knowing this could be a mistake. I can’t stand the thought of never seeing that smirk again. I miss her.

“You know Lee lost his wife to cancer. You know they found out she had it after she miscarried.”

I look up at her. I know this about Lee. It’s not something he talks about, but I’ve heard his conversations with Monnie and I’ve seen the loss in his eyes.

My uncle doesn’t know this, but I heard him and Pops talking a few weeks after we came home from the hospital.

The big barreled man called Monnie stands behind one of the leather chairs in Lee’s manly office. “Listen to me, brother. I know how badly you wanted children of your own, but these aren’t your kids. Hell, one is thirteen. What are you going to do with a troubled teen?”

I look at the big elk head on the wall behind the desk before Lee says, “I’m going to care for him and show him that the world isn’t all bad.”

Good luck with that, I think to myself.

I see Monnie shake his head from the crack in the door. “Their mother signed her rights away.”

“That’s her loss,” Lee says, walking over to his oak desk. He flips open a box and pulls out a cigar.

Monnie moves around the brown leather and takes a seat. “What are you going to do if she wants back in the picture? She’s a heroin addict.”

“She’ll get clean if she wants back in their life. That’s the only way.”

The big man sighs. “I just don’t want you getting in over your head here.”

“Monnie, I have all of this,” Lee waves a hand, “and no one to share it with. I need this. I need what Laura and I couldn’t have together.”

“You talk to Emily about this? You talk to her about keeping these boys?”

He strikes a match and brings it to the end of his cigar. “I knew the day we pulled those kids out of that car.” Lee gazes down at the floor, and his head slightly shakes. “There was something about them. It was as if they were always meant to be mine.” He looks up at his brother, his eyes resolute. “Emily will understand. I’m adopting them, and I don’t want to speak of this again.”

“I know this,” I reply to Lou as I shake off old memories.

“And you see he didn’t stop living. He went through something a person should never have to, and he chose to keep going. He opened his heart to Emily and then to you boys.” She pushes her sleeves up to her elbows.

“Not everyone is like Lee Grant, Lou.”

She smirks. “I can’t argue with that, son.” She exhales and looks to the door my mother is behind. “Be careful with her. Don’t let your guard down.”

“No worries.”

With a low groan, she lifts herself from the floor. “I’ve got some food in the fridge. Keep her hydrated. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She turns, heading toward the stairs.

“Hey, Lou,” I call after her.

She turns back around, her hunter green eyes always caring.

“I like her, too.”

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