It’s beautifully sad.

____________

Rolling over, my head throbs in agony and the sound of a bottle hits the thick pavement below me. The sun warms my back and my mouth feels like rawhide. I squeeze my eyes tightly before opening them. I passed out here in this lounge chair and I couldn’t feel worse.

Thump, thump, thump. I hear the fast beating of my heart, telling us to get up.

Let’s go see Bryce.

I push off the chair, sitting up, putting my face in my hands as I scrub down. I exhale and look out at the city buildings.

It’s Monday.

The world’s up and enjoying their day off. I’m hungover and missing my guy.

I know, I’m pathetic.

Jesus, girl, get a grip, my mind says, but my heart sticks out its tongue and flicks its middle finger up.

We can be pathetic if we want to.

I roll my eyes and hop off the chair. Stretching, I head inside to take a shower and try to get my shit together.

__________

A Goody’s powder and Gatorade help me feel less dead and the shower cooled my skin. I didn’t bother with makeup or fixing my hair, though. I threw it up and put on some moisturizer, so my skin didn’t look like the desert. With shorts on and a black tank top, I slip on my white Converse and exit the apartment. I’ll head by Mugs & Books first and see how things are going. I missed morning visiting hours, so I’ll have to wait until four to see Bryce.

___________

Dust eddies swim through the evening sunlight as I stare unconsciously from the chair I occupy at Mugs & Books. I have a book in my hand that I’m not really reading and a cup of coffee is resting on the table in front of me. Steam bellows up from the mug and my mind daydreams.

“Kat?”

I startle, turning my head to see Claire.

She gives me that look. The one that says she’s worried.

“I’m fine,” I lie. “What did you say?”

“You’re not fine. Let’s close the shop tomorrow. Go out to my parents’ house and jump some hills on the four-wheelers like old times.”

I give her a smile and look down at her swollen belly. “You’re pregnant.”

She sighs. “You’ve got to do something here. You can’t keep this shit up.”

I look around at our customers. “This isn’t the place,” I say, my eyes bouncing back to my friend who’s got a white apron on with tiny coffee mugs all over it. She’s cute, but I don’t feel like hearing her shit.

“Well, you tell me when I can talk to you about it then, because you won’t come over. You’ve stayed locked up in that tower of his all weekend and kept everyone who cares about you out.”

“I come here every day,” I say, deadpan.

“Yeah, and you do this.” She points to my coffee and book. “That’s not the real world, Kat.” She waves her hand around the shop. “This is. And you’re missing it, moping around, worrying about things you can’t control.”

I narrow my eyes at her. “I’m done talking about this. You don’t get to tell me how to feel.”

I stand up, leaving my book and coffee and walk away from her. Moving around the counter, I walk past Becca, my friend and other employee, who’s also giving me a look I don’t like. I go through the hall to my office. Grabbing my purse from my drawer, I remove my car keys and head back out.

“I’m going to visit Bryce. Close up for me, would you?”