Page 63 of Genesis

I hear Hale and Trinity laughing from the living room. “Okay,” I find myself saying. “Be there soon.”

I pull a beanie over my head and grab my coat from the back of my vanity chair, slipping the camera in its pocket. Opening my bedroom door, I walk out, sliding my arms through my coat. “Hey, I’m heading over to a friend’s. I’ll be back later.”

“What friend?” Hale asks.

“Amanda from my study group. She got a bunch of nail polish and stuff, so we’re gonna do pedicures and talk about sex and boys.” I tease.

He scrunches his nose. “Have fun with that,” he says with an eye roll.

I laugh. “Bye.”

Disappointment swims heavy in my chest, mixing with an ache I can’t touch as I ride over to the south side of Postings. He could be hurt, or he could be just hanging out with his friends at the clubhouse. Hell, who knows what he’s doing. But the fact that he hasn’t bothered to call me all day really, really hurts. Like crying hurts.

I grip the steering wheel as Counting Crows croons from my radio’s speakers. My thoughts run like the wind, and before I know it, I’m not going the right way, but heading to the lake house. I decide I better call Samuel and let him know I’m not coming so he won’t worry.

I put a few quarters into the pay phone and dial their number. Waiting for them to answer, I run my finger over the cord, leaning back against the phone stand.

“Hello?” Paul says.

I clear my throat. “Hey,” I say. “Um, look, I’m not really feeling it tonight. I’m just going to stay home.”

“Then why aren’t you calling from your house?” he asks me.

I sigh, guessing he even knows my number from the caller ID by now. “I just decided to go for a ride.”

“You all right, Bexley?”

I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat.

“Yeah.”

He’s silent for a moment, and I hear the door click shut in the back.

“He can’t help it, you know?”

“Who can’t help what?”

“Danny. He’s just like our dad. It’s just the way he is. You need to make a choice, Bex. You need to decide what kind of life you want. Danny will always be married to the streets. You’ll always be wondering where he is or if he’s coming home. You can’t change that.”

A tear rolls down my cheek. “I know. It just hurts,” I say as my voice cracks. “It’s fucking Christmas, Paul. He hasn’t even called.” A weight leaves my chest because, God, I needed someone to talk to about this, but I’ve had no one.

“That guy he’s working for probably has him tied up. The men he surrounds himself with… you don’t just tell them no, Bexley. Doesn’t matter what holiday it is.”

I look out at the tree line as the wind blows snow across the road. I pull my coat tighter on an exhale, rubbing my nose.

“Look, I know he’s my brother and I love the guy more than anything, but I love you, too. You’re Little Girl,” he says. “I don’t want you hurt. Do what makes you happy. Life’s too short to settle for just enough.”

“Okay,” I say as sadness rivers down my face. I sniff and my chest shudders.

“Get home. It’s too cold out.”

“I will,” I say.

“Merry Christmas, Bex.”

“Yeah, you, too. Hey, Paul,” I say before I hang up.

“Yeah?”

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