Page 70 of Genesis

“How many times will I hear that?” she asks dissonantly.

I swallow, panic creeping up my throat.

I run a hand over my mouth. “I don’t know.” And it’s the most honest answer I can give her, but it’s not what she wanted to hear.

Disheartened and dissatisfied, she looks toward the lake. “I don’t know what to do here, Danny.”

“Let’s go inside. We can talk about it.”

Her eyes focus back on me. “Talk about it? Can you really tell me what you’ve been doing all day?” She smiles, but it’s not from bliss. “Do I even want to know?” Her hand goes to her mouth, covering her lips, and she shakes her head. Tears fall, and like the water behind her, my heart freezes.

I don’t respond because she already knows the truth. And part of me already knows she’s backing out.

But I fight.

“I love you, baby. I’ll do better. I promise I won’t keep you waiting again.”

“How can you be so sure?” she asks, and there it is. A small, oh so tiny, bit of hope. It’s in her voice. It’s on her face. I grab onto it like I’m hanging off the edge of a building and it’s the only thing keeping me from hitting the pavement.

“Because I know. I’ll make sure of it. I’ll plan in advance, and I won’t tell you I can be there if I know I can’t. You won’t be disappointed in me again.”

She sniffs and rubs her red-from-the-cold nose. Her eyes go to the heavens. Exhaling, she murmurs, “I’m so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid.”

Wiping at her face, she looks back at me. “I wish I didn’t love you. This would be a lot easier.”

“But you do,” I say, my eyes not looking away from hers.

I smile, hoping she’s giving in. She respires again, rolling her eyes at me, clearly still mad, still upset, still hurt. She shudders. “I’m freezing. Let’s go inside.”

“Okay,” I say as she starts to walk. I bite my inner cheek, wondering how this is going to go. Wondering if she’s really going to forgive me. I need her to.

God, I need her to.

Once we reach the door, she slides it open. The heat thaws my skin, and I shut out the cold quickly.

She removes her coat, tossing it onto the chair. Standing before me in a beanie that makes her look adorable and a hunter green sweater, she narrows her eyes. “You’ve got one more chance, Danny. You fuck up again, and that’s it for us. I can’t keep doing this. I know you are who you are, and God knows I don’t like what you do, but I…I love you and I hate myself for it. I hate what I’m becoming.”

Tears form in her eyes, and she has no idea how much I hate myself for all of this.

“I’m sorry, love,” I say. Reaching out, I pull her to me. She grips my hoodie. “I won’t hurt you again. I promise.”

I kiss her hair, inhaling her shampoo. “I love you so goddamn much.”

Trusting me with her heart, she unhooks her fingers from the black cotton and wraps her arms around my back. We stand like this for a beat, and then she says in a heartbreaking tone, “Don’t make a fool out of me.”

_______________

I build us a fire and we pop in a movie. Bexley has still got her guard up, and I know it’s going to take some time to let it down, but she’s spending the night. One of the things I got her for Christmas was a strapless nightdress, and she’s got it on. We sit on the couch, her on the other side, far away from me. It’s odd. We’re usually all over each other. But she’s hurt.

“Come over here,” I tell her.

She looks at me. Her hair is pulled to one side of her shoulder, revealing her slender neck. A neck I want to taste. Her nipples show through the cotton fabric. Camellia knew what she was doing when she picked this shit out, and I think Bexley knows what she’s doing, too. She could have just worn one of my shirts, which might have turned me on more.

“I’m fine right here,” she says, looking back at the movie, acting disinterested in me.

I lift a brow, my tongue darting out to my bottom lip as I watch her stubborn ass. She’s spending the night. She’s crazy if she thinks we’re not going to fuck. Pissed, hurt, I don’t give a shit. She’s made a choice to work it out, so we’re going to work it out.

---