Page 84 of Salty, Spiced, and a Little Bit Nice

He glanced at the timer on his phone. “Eight more minutes. How are you feeling?”

“Better.” My brain fog was starting to lift. “The glucose tablets are working their magic.”

We spent the next seven-and-a-half minutes sitting in companionable silence. He had dragged the other armchair and positioned it next to mine, alternating between checking the CGM app on my phone every few minutes, as we both watched the number slowly creep up, and watching the darkness outside, looking contemplative. When his timer went off, we did another finger prick, making sure I was back to normal.

“Eighty. Much better.” Alec showed me the glucose meter, then checked the number on the CGM app to confirm they corresponded. He let out a long, relieved breath, his shoulders visibly relaxing. “That was scary, Ellie. I thought we were going to have a repeat of ten years ago.”

“No, we weren’t. It was my fault, because I ignored the signs.” I reached for my bag again, where I always kept a small stash of low-GI snacks for after a hypo episode. Pulling out a mini packet of rice crackers, I waved it at him with a smile, trying to lighten the mood. “Would you like something to nibble on? Maybe it’ll take your mind off things.”

“Snacks are the last thing on my mind right now.”

“You sure? These are honey soy chicken flavored. They’re the best.”

He sighed. “I’m being serious. You just shaved ten years off my life.”

“Don’t worry. I’m used to it.”

“You don’t understand.” Alec got up and paced around the room. “You might be used to it, but I’m not. And it was a harsh wake-up call. I can’t live through another episode, like the one you had all those years ago. I can’t watch you being carried on a gurney into another ambulance again, because Icannotlose you, Ellie.” He stopped pacing and stared at me. “Do you understand me? I can’t lose you for the second time.”

I was supposed to finish my packet of crackers, but right now, nothing else seemed to matter. Right now, I should be bursting with happiness, jumping with glee, and shouting my joy from the mountaintops. Because Alec Mackenzie, my fake boyfriend, my longtime childhood crush, the guy I used to hatebut was now in love with, was all but confessing his feelings for me.

The question was,What was I going to do about it?

CHAPTER 24Filthy Things to Make You Scream

Nothing. I wouldn’t do anything, because once bitten, twice shy, and there absolutely wouldn’t be a third time, not even if all the planets, the suns, and the moons in the entire universe had gotten out of alignment.

But why not?my rational brain argued.You’re in love with him, and he obviously cares a lot for you. What’s stopping you?

Because once I went there, there was no turning back. And despite all that he’d done to prove that he was a different person from ten years ago, it was still scary, and there was no guarantee that he wouldn’t hurt me again, and I didn’t know how I’d recover if he did…

Maybe I could pretend he didn’t say anything. Or act as if I didn’t hear him.

“Well, thanks for helping. And for staying with me. You should probably get back to dinner. Rob and Jacqui might be looking for you. I think I’ll go to bed.”

He was still staring at me, the look on his face inscrutable. Hoping my casual tone conveyed how cool and unruffled I was(not), I shoved the last two pieces of crackers into my mouth to hide my nervousness. I packed up my glucose meter and disposed of the used test strips while turning my back to him, so he couldn’t see how flustered I was. Then I got up and started toward the bathroom, making sure to carefully maneuver my way around him.

But he had other ideas.

Alec stepped in front of me, blocking my path. “They won’t even notice I’m gone.”

I cleared my throat, not meeting his eyes, because I might lose all my already shaky willpower if I did. It was safer to avoid any forms of eye contact, or physical touch, or anything to do with this man; and I should really back the hell away from him,right now.

“Can you move out of the way?”

He didn’t budge. “Ellie, look at me.”

I didn’t look at him. “Fine, then I’ll move.” I took a couple of steps to the right, attempting to go around him.

But he mirrored my movements, blocking me again, and this time, his hand lifted my chin, and I had no choice but to gaze into his eyes. Alec took another step closer, and I was practically nose to nose with him. He was chewing on his lips, drawing my gaze to his mouth.

“Life is short, Ellie. I think I’m done trying to fight this.”

I was incapable of forming a coherent thought, let alone a reply, because he leaned down, his lips lingering only inches away. He paused, asking me for permission, giving me a chance to back off. My brain waved a tearful goodbye to my weak self-control, because all I had to do was tilt my mouth, and I’d be tasting those lips. Flames erupted inside my stomach, and I wondered if the room thermostat had malfunctioned because it felt twenty degrees hotter than normal.

What if this was a mistake?

But he was right. Lifewastoo short, and I didn’t want to have any regrets.

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