Page 106 of Not the Plan

“Gotcha!” her mother said. “Good to know there’s a chance you’ll answer if I’m hospitalized again.”

Isadora simply did not have the emotional reserves to deal with her mother’s games.

“You…aren’t in the hospital?” she asked.

“I am, sort of. Came to visit someone and asked the nurse if I could make a call, let my daughter know everything’s fine.”

“Because you knew I wouldn’t answer the phone if I saw your number,” Isadora said.

“I don’t know why you have to make things so difficult, Isadora. I am your mother. You are to answer the phone when I call.”

Tears were back. Rage, fear, nausea. A panoply of emotions she should have been able to control.

“Izzy? Is something wrong?”

Isadora fought not to fall for the concern in her mother’s tone. She reminded herself that the woman on the other end could not be trusted, even though she desperately needed the sort of mother she’d always wished she’d had.

“I’m fine,” she forced out through a sob.

“No, you aren’t,” her mother said. “I can tell when my child is upset. What’s wrong? Did that nice boy dump you?”

Isadora held in her shudder. Any hint of vulnerability would be blood in the water as her mother circled.

“Everything is fine,” Isadora said as pleasantly as possible.

“If that’s what happened, I’m not surprised,” her mother said. “That’s what you get for siding with someone against me.”

Isadora had to get to the bathroom. She hadn’t eaten yet, but it felt like something was on its way up.

“I’m gonna be sick, Mother. Gotta go, bye,” she said, hanging up and throwing herself down the hallway.

—

The hard, cold edge of the bathtub felt good against her temple. Exhausted, she leaned against it, waiting for her head to stop spinning. She didn’t think a person could throw up on an empty stomach. But with the right encouragement, it seemed anything was possible. She rolled back, resting her nape on the cool porcelain.

This is what I get for choosing someone over my mother?She let out a sharp laugh.No. This is what I get for letting myself feel. Letting myself imagine that I could have a relationship and my career.

—

Isadora found her way to the office early on Monday. She wasn’t emotionally ready, but she had her job to think about. She’d failed to protect her heart; she couldn’t fail when it came to her career.

The first order of business was to get to the bottom of the amendment situation. She pulled up the online version. Attached to the insurance bill in committee, it didn’t make any waves. The goal was to codify current practices. No reason not to vote in favor of the idea. The statute concerning the dates to elect senate officerswasincluded.“I’m sure it doesn’t modify those statutes,” he’d said. Liar. I can’t believe I fell for that. All of that…It’s what I get for forgetting that romance is dangerous.Her screen became blurry.Isadora. Not now. You can cry when you get home.Two deep breaths and she was back where she needed to be.

She scrolled farther down to the original form of the bill, checking the history of modifications. There was the link to the initial draft of the amendment, two committees back. Then the link to the version Karim drafted, with the date and time stamp. She clicked on it, and an error message popped up:File not found. What do you mean, ‘File not found’?She backed out and then clicked again. Same result.That’s never happened before.She picked up her phone.

“Hello?” RJ answered.

“Hey, you at your desk?”

“Yep.”

“Can you pull up the draft amendment? I’m trying to get theonehehad us sign, the latest version, but I keep getting an error message.” She’d managed to speak with RJ on Sunday night; he knew what Karim had done, that not only had he betrayed Isadora by presumably telling Julian any information she’d accidentally let slip when she’d had her guard down, but he’d done it in the most humiliating way possible, even sharing the most intimate details, including her tattoo. If Julian knew details about her body, it made Isadora burn with shame to wonder what else he might know about her.

“Okay,” he said.

She waited while RJ tried.

“Me too,” he said. “That’s weird. Never had that problem before.”

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