Page 31 of Not the Plan

Her mother didn’t say anything. Isadora continued.

“When I was seventeen, my prom date bought me a corsage with magnolias. You insisted that I wear it to be polite, and I did, and I ended up in the emergency room because my throat closed up. So, no. Magnolias are not my favorite flower, Mother.”

Her mother huffed. Isadora waited for the click and dial tone from getting hung up on, but it didn’t come. Instead, her mother drew in a shaky breath.

“If I say you love magnolias, then you love magnolias. What is wrong with you? Nothing I do is ever good enough,” she sobbed. “You never appreciate me, or all that I’ve sacrificed for you or anything!”

Isadora looked up at the ceiling. RJ tapped on the edge of her desk to get her attention.

“Time for the waterworks?” he whispered.

Isadora nodded.

“No matter what I do, you just push me away!” Her mother began wailing incoherently. Isadora didn’t want to be affected. She fought the rising guilt, the impulse to placate her mother. Logically, she knew that her mother was being manipulative, but she couldn’t get past her conditioning to put her mother’s demands before her own needs.

“Mother,” she said. “Mother?”

The sobbing continued but got a little quieter.

“It was a very nice gesture,” Isadora said.

RJ cocked his head to the side. “Do not,” he mouthed. Isadora shrugged.

“I can understand that it’s been a while since you saw me react to magnolias, so maybe you might have forgotten. I don’t expect you to remember things like my favorite flower or food, because those things change and we haven’t lived in the same place for quite some time.”

Her mother wailed again. Isadora pulled the phone away from her ear to protect her hearing. RJ threw his hands up in the air.

“Why don’t you want to live here? Why don’t you want to live near me? Am I that horrible of a person? I don’t deserve to be loved?” her mother sobbed.

Isadora sighed.How many times have we been over this?Of course, she couldn’t be honest and say that there was no way she’d ever live in the same place as her mother. She refused to have her entire life engulfed again the way that proximity would allow. She could only tell part of the truth.

“Mother, my job is out here. My career. My educational and career choices have nothing to do with you. This is not personal.”

“Stop doing this!” RJ whispered. “Stop sparing her feelings while minimizing yours. I know that’s what you’re doing. Just get off the phone!”

Isadora widened her eyes at him and shrugged. What else could she do, though? Suddenly he stood up, turned, and knocked hard on her office door. He widened his eyes at her, then knocked again.

“Oh!” she said. “Mother, I have to go. Someone’s at my door, sounds urgent.”

“Okay.” Her mother sniffled. “I just, I get it. You’re working.”

Isadora’s eyebrows shot up. That was the first time she could remember her mother acknowledging that in a way that wasn’t heartily negative.

“Isadora!” RJ said loudly, but with a forced depth in his voice. “I need you in my office immediately!”

“Oh, Isadora?” her mother asked. “Is that your boss?”

“Um…” She looked up at RJ, trying to stifle a laugh. “Yeah, that’s my boss. I have to go.”

“Okay,” her mother said. “I’ll let you go.” She hung up the phone.

Isadora put the phone down and let herself laugh.

“Dude?” she said to RJ as he sat back down.

“What?” he asked. “I had to get you off the phone. You weren’t doing it fast enough.”

Her chuckles died down as she looked at him.

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