Page 38 of Not the Plan

“Your feelings are just as important as your work, Isadora. As your goals. It might seem like they can get in the way of what you want, what you have planned for yourself. But trust someone who knows from experience, letting them in can bring you joys that make you wonder what you were fighting so hard for in the first place. If I hadn’t let mine in, I’d have missed out on so much, including the pleasure of knowing you.”

Isadora smiled, accepting the offered tissue and dabbing at a tear that had escaped. “I’m sorry. Excuse me for crying.”

“Don’t. Don’t you dare apologize for letting me see how you feel. Let me thank you for sharing.”

Isadora had to stare at her lap and take several deep breaths. Her surrogate mother was flipping her world upside down. The idea that she could trust her feelings, share them, follow them…Her mother had done that, had given up her dreams for love and then he’d “abandoned” her by dying. The years upon years of her mother complaining, blaming Isadora and her father for “taking” what could have been away from her…She took a deep, shuddering breath.

And now Glenna was articulating something RJ had said multiple times—the idea that Isadora could get romantically attached to someone and maybe not turn into a miserable, bitter person was too foreign to accept.

“Let go, honey. Tonight, just be Isadora. Don’t think about work, don’t think about politics. You work too hard as it is, all the time. It’s not good for you. You can allow yourself one night to truly enjoy your youth and beauty. Trust me, they’re more powerful and more fleeting than you realize.”

Isadora dabbed at her eyes and got herself under control, giving Glenna an appreciative smile. Sharing her true emotions with her own mother had always ended in shame and regret. The fact that Glenna wasn’t making her feel that way warmed her from the inside out. Maybe Isadora could trust her judgment.

“Okay,” she breathed. “I’ll give Karim half an hour. But it’s hard because there are other people from work here. I don’t want them to see…you know…”

“Fuck them, Isadora.” It was the first time she’d heard Glenna use anything close to profanity. “Yes, that’s right. I said ‘fuck them.’ Fuck ’em all. You deserve this.”

She stared at Glenna, shocked away from tears.

“And half an hour isn’t sufficient. You give him at least an hour, okay?”

“Umm, okay.”

“Promise me?”

“I promise.”

“Now shhh…here comes my husband. Can’t have him hear me whispering about a younger man!”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Isadora

An hour later, at the end of the last speech, Glenna gave Isadora a final encouragement and nudged her to follow the other guests making their way to the adjoining room. Checking the crowd on and around the dance floor, she didn’t see Karim. She continued along one side of the room and found open doors leading to a balcony. There were people outside, in groups of twos and threes. There was only one person at the railing with his back to the party.

He raised his head when she was a few feet away. Slowing down, she made the most of her stride, her hips, the way her dress moved. There was a glimmer of fear in his eyes as he glanced away and then back at her.

Please don’t be afraid of me. I’m already afraid enough for us both.

“There you are,” she said, reaching him.

He raised his eyebrows, a smile pulling his lips to one side. “Here I am.”

“Thought I’d come by and say hello again.”

He nodded, turning to the view. “Before you go?”

“I…I doubt Daniel and Glenna are ready to go so soon. I rode with them.”

“You aren’t leaving now?”

“Um…no. I hadn’t planned on it. Should I?”Okay, I read this wrong, let me get out of here before I make a total fool of myself.She started to head back to the party.

“No, wait. I’m sorry,” he said. “I misunderstood.”

“Oh.” She returned close to him, standing side by side, their backs to everyone else. She wasn’t sure what to say. The fear she’d discussed with Glenna was still there. But another primal emotion was taking its place. His cologne wafted by, and she wanted to plunge her face into his neck and gorge herself on it. His proximity doubled her desire for him, tripled it. She gripped her little clutch hard, rather than give in to the need to caress his jacketed arm, or to acquaint herself with the golden skin of his wrist.

“I know I said so before, but you’re beautiful tonight,” he said, his tone heating up the cool evening.

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