Page 58 of Not the Plan

“It’s okay,” he said. “I don’t mind, it means…I’ll take it to mean that you’re curious about me, about what’s going on in my life.”

Isadora smiled. How could she not be curious?

“I am,” she said. “But, um. Earlier, you mentioned that your wife expected you to only think and feel the way she wanted you to. Is that a trait of people with her disorder?” Isadora asked.

“I’m not an expert,” Karim said. “But I think that’s one way it can express itself. Why do you ask?”

Isadora hesitated. What he’d described sounded so, so very familiar. What if Karim could get what dealing with her mother was like because he’d been there with his wife? But what if she opened up and he didn’t understand? Or worse, found a way to use it against her. Indecision zinged across her skin. She bit her lip hard, squeezed her eyes tight, and decided to leap.

“I have a family member. Who I think might be…like that,” she said. “So I was just curious.”

“It’s really hard to live with,” he said. “Because she was always expecting some sort of perfection that was rarely articulated. Imean, sometimes she’d say what she wanted me to do, but more often than not, I was just supposed toknowwhat she wanted from me without her having to say it.”

A chill went down Isadora’s spine. That wasexactlylike her mother.

“And when I failed to meet her expectations, there was always some punishment. Either toward me or herself.”

“Um…punishment like what?”

“Could have been something minor, like embarrassing me in public, or something major, like self-harm,” he said.

How many times had her mother humiliated her in front of family members? Though she was too vain to injure herself.

“That’s intense,” Isadora said. “I’m sorry you went through all that.”

“I’m just glad it’s behind me now.”

“I bet.”

“Your family member,” he asked. “Have they ever gotten help?”

“What? Ha. Oh no, they never would. They don’t think anything is wrong with them. Everyone else is the problem.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty common thinking in personality disordered people. The joke is that it’s the rest of the family that ends up in therapy.”

“Oh,” she said.Maybe I need therapy.“I appreciate you being willing to talk about all of this with me, Karim.”

“It’s cool,” he said.

“But I imagine you don’t want to dwell on the past.”

“No,” he said. “I’ve got more enticing things to think about now. Like smart, intimidating chiefs of staff to the majority leader of the California State Senate.”

She could hear the smile in his voice.

“Aww. What a sweet thing to say.”

“I’m just being honest, beautiful.”

Karim

On Monday, Karim was just getting situated in his office when Julian appeared in his doorway.

“So,” he said. “I see you took advantage of the…social lubricating effects of the inauguration.”

Karim paused. Had Julian seen him with Isadora? He thought they’d been careful by leaving early. And Drew hadn’t seen him with Isadora, but someone else may have. Karim kicked himself internally.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

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