Page 47 of The Sign for Home

Red star.

You close the MS Word window and open the browser window. You open the JW.org website. These giant white letters on the homepage are familiar to you.

Jehovah’s Witnesses—Who Are We?

You scan the list of available articles and back issues ofThe Watchtower. The first three: “Enlightening Visions of the Spirit Realm” or “Dr. Marlene Rippelmeyer: A Podiatrist Explains Her Faith” or “Bible Questions Answered: What Is the Great Tribulation?”

Currently your great tribulation is writing this personal essay about a day that changed everything. But the “Tribulation” that JW.org is talking about is different.

The Great Tribulation will occur during the end times when false religion will be destroyed by Jehovah God utilizing the countries represented by the United Nations. During that time there will be an attack on the true religion by a coalition of bad nations that Ezekiel mentioned in his visionand called “Gog of the land of Magog.” Where is Magog? Is Gog a person? You can’t remember. Did the sinful people from Magog have to write personal essays? You know from JW.org that at the end of the Great Tribulation Gog and his hordes in Magog will be destroyed whether they’ve written their secret stories or not.

The Great Tribulation is when Judgment Day will happen. Judgment Day is not really a “day” but really one thousand years. You are not sure why the Bible doesn’t just say this, unless because one thousand years just sounds too complicated, or maybe—to the infinite Jehovah God—one thousand years equals just one of His days. What does that mean if Jehovah God needs to do His laundry every seven days? Is that once every seven thousand years? Does Jehovah God smell?

Red star.

The best part of Judgment Day is that even the unrighteous sinner who dies a nonbeliever will have a chance to be saved. That means one thousand years to change your mind and behavior. Unlike regular people, Jehovah God is very fair. Cyril and Hanne will still have a chance to be saved. So will Martin and Big Head Lawrence, and so will…stop. Think of Judgment Day. Think of the throngs of people. Think of Cyril, Hanne, Martin, and Big Head Lawrence, all facing theembersof the Lake of Fire, and needing to make a decision: a decision between eternal salvation and eternal death; a decision about being godly sheep or goats; a decision about writing this essay or not writing this essay.

You do another search on JW.org and you find this: “Will All Be Resurrected?” The answer is no. In Luke 12:5 the Bible talks about a place called Gehenna. Gehenna was the name of a garbage dump on the outskirts of ancient Jerusalem. That’s where they threw the dead bodies that were unworthy of burial and resurrection. “So Gehenna is a fitting symbol of everlasting destruction. He will never resurrect those whom He judges to be wicked and unwilling to change.”

Gehenna is Jehovah God’s version of Dogwood.

This part of the story of the Great Tribulation always makes your head hurt. JW.org sayseveryonewill be resurrected, therighteousand theunrighteous, but then it also says not everyone will be resurrected… if they are one of thewicked. How does one know if someone is so wicked that they cannot even get a second chance?

Is Cyril one of the wicked? Is Hanne? Is Martin? Is Big Head Lawrence? Was S one of the wicked? You type into the search engine at the top of the page:Who are the wicked?A list of Bible verses, but none answer the question. It doesn’t seem fair that they aren’t specific. It doesn’t seem fair that some sinners get one thousand years to figure it out and some don’t. Your eye starts to ache from looking at the screen.

You close JW.org.

You open up MS Word again and stare again into the blackness of the screen of eternal death, where the brightness of the gigantic white cursor… curser… curses at you: WRITE YOUR FUCKING ESSAY, YOU DEAFBLIND DUMMY!

Red star.

Maybe if you had a thousand years, instead of one week, you would have enough time to write this essay. Or maybe you’d have time to figure out a way to escape this assignment.

You try again. You type:The Day That Changed Everything is… was… was?… is? Were? WAS?

You stare at the glow around the three towering letters filling the black screen: W-A-S. Giant white word ghosts; each letter vibrating with the story it wants to tell:thatstory.

Just as you are about to continue, you feel Brother Birch tap your shoulder and you nearly jump out of your seat.

“Come,” he signs.

You are clearly in trouble. But you haven’t even written anything yet. The only things you can remember doing wrong recently are things you’ve done inside your head. Can Brother Birch read minds? (It’s a sin to readminds.) You and Snap follow Brother Birch up to the living room. Snap walks slowly because she knows something is wrong too.

As soon as you arrive in the living room, you smell Molly’s familiar scent. Brother Birch called her here to tell you something he is unable to sign himself, something complicated. To prepare yourself for bad news, you tighten your stomach and that area between your anus and balls.

“Why were you talking to a strange woman on your SBC the other day?” Brother Birch asks via Molly’s interpreting. “In the college cafeteria?”

Shit. He means Hanne. It’s a sin for a man to be alone with a woman unless she is a family member or an interpreter. (It’s even worse if that woman may or may not be a witch.) You need an excuse. Think, think, think.

“Woman?” you say, squinching your brow, as if the wordwomanmeantflying hamster. “I don’t think so. Again, what day?”

“Please, Arlo,” Brother Birch says. “You mustn’t lie. One of the elders saw you, and the woman wasn’t Molly and wasn’t a member of the fellowship. Please tell me who it was?”

How to answer? That you didn’t think women older than you counted? That you forgot about the rule even though you are reminded at least once a week at Public Talk? That if Hanne is a witch, she’s probably a nice witch? What you really want to say is:It isn’t fair that someone with vision and hearing can spy on a DeafBlind man, but the DeafBlind man can never spy on them.Still, you are in a panic. Desperation fills your fingers.

“What about you and Molly?” you ask, back-talking to an elder, which is also a sin. “Molly single. Last week, when your wife at convention, you and Molly alone together. Remember? Not fair—!”

Molly grabs your wrists, signaling for you to stop talking. Is it Brother Birch who is angry or Molly or both?

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