Page 48 of The Sign for Home

“Shame on you!” Brother Birch yells. Molly’s hands are shaking. “You know the only reason Molly and I are alone together is so we can help you, so you can stop that filthy talk. Now, tell me the truth, who was that woman and what were you doing with her?”

“She not woman!” you say, defensively. Your signing grows more intense, as if by sheer muscle power you will convince them. “She artist! Goes to college! Same as me! Will become nurse! She nice!”

Why are you screaming? Can they see the lie on your face? Does it burn red and hot?

You can’t make Brother Birch your enemy. Unlike when you first left the Rose Garden School, he trusts you now. This was one of the main reasons Molly was able to talk him into letting you study writing at the community college. You need to keep Brother Birch on your side.

“Sorry,” you sign more humbly now. “Blow up at you… I wrong. Sorry. But, honest, I not do sin. That woman, I talk to her, why? Try pull her to Jesus. I preach about Jehovah God and give her pamphlet.”

For a moment there is silence. It means Brother Birch and Molly are talking secretly.

“You were witnessing?” Brother Birch asks. “Honest?”

“Yes,” you say, almost believing the lie yourself.

“Witnessing for Jesus is good. But you know you’re not supposed to be spending time alone with any woman who is not a member of your family… or Molly, of course.”

Worried that Brother Birch might still punish you, you switch your approach. You bow your head and shake it back and forth, like you’re very sad. Then you clasp your hands for a moment in a prayerful pose, suddenly slapping your forehead very hard three times.

“I should know better! I disappoint God! I sin! So sorry. You right! Sin to talk to woman alone. I think because cafeteria… crowded people… it okay to talk to woman alone. Sorry. I stupid! I pea brain!”

You hit yourself again, again, again.

It works. Brother Birch himself grabs your arms to stop you from hurting yourself. Then he himself signs, awkwardly but kindly, in his basic, choppy ASL:

“It—is—okay, Arlo. I—AM—not mad no more. Stop hitting you. It—is—okay. All JW people D-O bad part-time. Pray and ask Jehovah God T-O… forgive us. We…”

You try to keep your face looking humble and sad, but it’s taking forever for Brother Birch to finish his sentence. He is incredibly slow and rarely signs anything more than two or three words at a time. Molly moves back into the interpreter position.

“Just don’t do it again, okay?” Brother Birch says via Molly. “You are a great messenger for Jehovah God, but Satan will try to test you. Now, I need you to tell me the truth about something else. Was it Cyril Brewster who introduced you to this artist-nurse woman?”

“Yes. She and Cyril—best friends. Name: H-A-N-N-E. Born where? Belgium. She very sad woman. Hard life. Need help to find Jehovah God.”

You say everything Brother Birch would want to hear, explaining that Hanne is a broken woman in an unhappy marriage with a child and who may be desperate to find God.

“Okay. Now I understand,” Brother Birch says. “Your interpreter Cyril was wrong. He shouldn’t be introducing you to any strange women. He’s just there to help Molly interpret for you. He’s not your friend.”

You try to defend Cyril, taking the blame for talking to Hanne, but Brother Birch will not listen.

“I told you. I forgive you,” Brother Birch says. “Jehovah God forgives you. But I need to explain something to you. Molly has heard bad things about Cyril. He is… he’s not a good Christian, not a normal man. He is known to commit very serious sins, and most likely will face oblivion if he doesn’t change his ways. There’s no way around just saying it. Cyril is a gay. H-O-M-O-S-E-X-U-A-L. Do you understand what that means?”

G-A-Y? You have seen the word a hundred times at Public Talk. At least two members of the Kingdom Hall have been reprimanded over the last year for homosexual desire. Then there were rumors about Miss Sybil at the Rose Garden School, and one or two substitute interpreters over the years.Homosexualmeans having S-E-X with people of the same sex.Martin and some of the other boys at school used to play S-E-X games. But they were children. Only adults can be homosexual. But is Cyril homosexual? Nothing Cyril said would indicate G-A-Y. In fact, he’s told you nothing personal about his life. You think of his touch. Did he linger? Did he touch you in a way that was more G-A-Y than not G-A-Y? What do you know about Cyril? You know he’s a good interpreter. You know he has red hair and is just a little shorter than you. You know he is smart and knows how to explain poetry to you. But that is all.

“Yes. I know meaning G-A-Y,” you tell Brother Birch. “G-A-Y bad sin.”

“Did you know that Cyril is gay?”

“Not really.”

“What does that mean?”

“Cyril never tell me G-A-Y or straight. But I think Cyril not G-A-Y. Cyril just interpreter.”

Again Brother Birch talks secretly with Molly.

Why does it matter if Cyril is or is not a homosexual? You didn’t make him a homosexual. But you know doing any kind of sexual activity is a serious sin. If Cyril was really your friend, he would have told you if he was G-A-Y. Perhaps Brother Birch is right again. Cyril is not your friend.

“I think we should ask to find a different interpreter,” Brother Birch says. “Someone who is a better match for you. It doesn’t matter if it costs the college more money. Perhaps that friend of Molly’s who was originally supposed to do the job.”

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