Page 19 of The Sign for Home

“You dreaming?” Martin signed, annoyed at your silence. “Wake up!”

Martin pulled your hands in close between your bodies, making it harder for any nosy sighted kids to see what he was saying.

“I tell you secret. Understand? Last semester. Dorm boss name: Fat One.” He showed you her name-sign: upside-down “Y” walks like an obese person across the palm of the other hand. “You know Fat One? Gross. Hate her! Fat One hit my best friend.” Martin showed you another unfamiliar sign: an “L” hand lifted outward from the temple.

“Sign means what?” you asked.

“That name-sign of other roommate, my best friend: L-A-W-R-E-N-C-E. Big Head Lawrence.” Then Martin repeated the strange name-sign.

“Can meet?!”

“Hold on! Finish story first!” Martin continued. “Fat dorm boss hit Big Head Lawrence! Why? She catch jacking off!”

Martin makes a gesture grabbing at his throat. You have no idea what it means. He continues the story, acting out the parts of the dorm boss and Big Head Lawrence.

“Dirty boy! Disgust!Then dorm boss smacked his hands and butt!Many times I tell you! Bad boy! Bad boy!” Then Martin addressed you: “Understand? Must careful. If jack off too early, will get caught. Wait until later—lights out—when dorm boss asleep. Same everyone else. Understand?”

“Yes.Understand,” you answered, but it was a lie.

You wouldn’t fully comprehend what Martin said for weeks. But still you hung on every sign that sprang from his fingers. His ASL was a hundred times better than anyone’s you had ever met. Certainly better than Molly’s and your other teachers’ growing up. Martin’s signing was fast, vivid, acrobatic. It was one of the most beautiful things you had ever experienced.

“Shh! Don’t tell anyone!” Martin went on. “If Fat One helps you with lunch plate—throw down [on] floor. Mess up. Splatter. All over floor. We…”

Martin used another sign you had never seen before, but then fingerspelled the word for emphasis.

“R-E-V-E-N-G-E!”

“Wait,” you signed. “Not understand. Word: R-E-V-E-N-G-E. What mean?”

“Ha ha! Don’t know meaning of wordrevenge? Wow! (Again he used the gesture of grabbing at his throat.) Revenge means when someone does something bad to you, you do something worse to them. Why? So they won’t hurt you again.”

Yes! Revenge! You desperately needed that word! Revenge for how Brother Birch stole you from your mother! Revenge for the van driver wholay across your body! Revenge against Gym Teacher for forcing you to climb the rope! Revenge for all the hearing people who ever ignored you all your life! But it wasn’t just that sign, it was all of them:Fat One? Jacking? Disgust?The sinful signs felt hot in your hands. As Molly had warned, Martin and his best friend, Big Head Lawrence, were clearly not “saved.” But you didn’t care. You wanted more.

“What mean?” you asked Martin, repeating his gesture where he grabbed at the base of his throat.

Martin thought for a moment and then explained it was a gesture someone did if they got caught doing something and felt embarrassed. Like if a teacher catches you cheating, or someone walks into your room and you’re playing with yourself.

“Wait! Wait!” you say. “What spoken word for… (you repeated the gesture)?”

“Hmmm. Good question,” Martin signed. “I remember! Intervenor Sybil told me! English two words! You can write G-A-S-P or G-U-L-P!”

“Gasp or gulp? Smart kids use which word?” you asked.

“Both!”

Martin makes you repeat all the signs he just taught you, correcting your hand positions.

“I ASL and writing top skills!” Martin bragged. “My family Deaf family. They ASL experts! Wow. They beat everyone… ASL champion! If you don’t know sign or English word, ask me!”

“Okay. I will. I curious… other roommate? Big Head Lawrence? Name-sign why?”

“Wait here,” Martin demanded, returning three minutes later, dragging along another boy. This new boy was also shorter than you. But while his body felt leaner, his head, as advertised, was at least twice the size of a normal head and abnormally shaped. His hands, however, were nice, expressive, and very friendly. He told you he had grown up in a place called New Jersey and was hard of hearing and low-vision because of his big head.He also said he had been looking forward to meeting you for weeks, and this made you like him even more.

“Hey! I’m bored! Talk same time!” Martin signed.

Then Martin did something you didn’t even know was possible. He pushed his hands under both yours and Big Head Lawrence’s, and suddenly all three of you were in a six-hand, simultaneous Tactile Sign Language conversation.

“See what I mean?” Martin signed. “I honest. Big head, right? Means very smart. Math… Big Head Lawrence champ!”

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